Introduction: So you want to talk about race

Blackness has always been a central part of Ijeoma Oluo’s life. It informs many of her decisions every day and contributes to the consistent oppression she feels—as when, for instance, she is followed by a clerk in a store or told that her hair is “too ethnic.” But her Blackness has brought her great joy, too, such as when she considers her knowledge that Toni Morrison’s books were written for her.

Race has been one of the most defining forces in Oluo’s life, but she has not always talked openly about it before now. In the past, she dealt with being Black in a white world by working harder and dressing better than her white colleagues. She bent over backward not to appear angry. Recently, she started resisting, changed her food blog to a “‘me’ blog,” and began to write about her “frustrations and heartbreak.” At first, Oluo was writing for survival, and many of her white friends were alienated by this. Gradually, though, she began to hear from others across cities and countries that she was not alone in her observations.

Oluo acknowledges that these are “scary” times for those who have to face the fact that “America is not, and never has been, the melting-pot utopia that their parents and teachers told them it was.” They are difficult times for white people who did not realize how terrified their friends of color were. They are hard times for the people of color who have been shouting and fighting for equity for so long. Right now, there is a chasm between these groups.

Oluo decided to write So You Want to Talk About Race because she heard people ask questions like “How do I talk to my mother in law about the racist jokes she makes?” and “I don’t know what intersectionality is, and I’m afraid to say so.” People asked these questions in person or in online forums, and Oluo has decided that now is the time to have these difficult conversations.

Chapter 1: Is it really about race?

Oluo lets readers in on some of the conversations she has. A white friend she meets for coffee keeps asking if the issue of poverty and class shouldn’t be addressed first, instead of race. This isn’t possible, Oluo says. Waiting for change has been tried over and over in political races, and nothing has changed. Even the election of President Barack Obama was mostly symbolic. The facts of racism have not changed much: “in just about every demographic of socio-political-economic well-being, Black and brown people were consistently getting less.”

Addressing class differences alone is clearly not enough. Talking about race, even though it may be difficult sometimes, is essential. Here is how Oluo says readers should know whether an issue is really about race:

1. It is about race if a person of color thinks it is about race.
2. It is about race if it disproportionately or differently affects people of color.
3. It is about race if it fits into a broader pattern of events that disproportionately or differently affects people of color.

Despite the simplicity of these sensible guidelines, Oluo still has to deal with people denying that cultural phenomena are related to race. Not only do some people still propagate the “welfare queen” myth, Oluo even has a friend who will not recognize that the myth is racist. That friend’s denial hurts almost as much as the original insult.

Chapter 2: What is racism?

Oluo recounts a story about a coworker who posted a meme stigmatizing those who receive welfare....