Hawthorne's story emphasizes how a person's response to death and loss can reveal their true character. Both women mourn their late husbands, but Mary's "gentle, calm, yet resilient character" and her faith enable her to handle the emotional upheaval of her husband's death with more poise than Margaret. After the mourners leave, Mary prepares a meal, sets the table, and tries to comfort her sister-in-law. In contrast, Margaret, with her "animated and irritable temperament," struggles to accept the loss, remaining resentful, dwelling on the past, and unable to find peace in her faith. Later, Mary drifts off to sleep with relative ease, while Margaret stays awake, "groan[ing] in bitterness." Their choices not to wake each other upon receiving their respective news further highlight their personalities. Margaret worries that Mary's reaction might dampen her own joy, thinking, "Shall I waken her, to feel her sorrow sharpened by my happiness?" On the other hand, Mary is concerned about the pain Margaret would face if she shared Stephen's news, thinking, "My poor sister!" as she watches Margaret, "you will waken too soon from that happy dream."

"The Wives of the Dead" is more than just a story about two widows; it delves into the essence of reality, encouraging readers to question the dreamlike nature of waking life and the truthfulness of dreams. Hawthorne crafts a setting where nothing is as it appears, with appearances influenced by the fluctuating emotions of the two protagonists, through whose eyes the narrative is told, and by the narrator, whose truthfulness is uncertain. Most events transpire at night, with the narrator often emphasizing what the characters can or cannot perceive. While in bed, Margaret, who is restless and uneasy, observes the lamp casting "the shadows of the furniture up against the wall, stamping them immovably there, except when they were shaken by a sudden flicker of the flame." This imagery brings to mind Plato's Allegory of the Cave, where the philosopher suggests a higher reality beyond human senses. Hawthorne employs other visual symbols such as the lantern, hearth, morning mist, and windows to highlight the link between truth and perception, vision and understanding. For example, after Goodman Parker tells Margaret that her husband is alive, the narrator describes Parker's lantern as "gleam[ing] along the street, revealing indistinct shapes of things, and fragments of a world, like order glimmering through chaos." This portrayal reflects Margaret's response to the uplifting news.