illustration of a young girl, Connie, reflected in the sunglasses of a man, Arnold Friend

Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?

by Joyce Carol Oates

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Themes: Appearance vs. Reality

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From the start, Connie is noted for her physical beauty, and she believes that part of the source of friction between her and her mother is that her mother “hadn’t much reason any longer to look at her own face.” Connie, who knows that she is pretty, therefore feels a sort of superiority over both her mother and her “plain” sister, enjoying catching a glimpse of herself in mirrors with a nervous giggle. Connie uses her physical beauty to attract boys like Eddie, whom she meets at the drive-in. She is careful with the details of her appearance, such as carefully crossing her legs at the ankles, to present herself as fully alluring. Yet it is also noted that “everything about [Connie] had two sides to it, one for home and one for anywhere that was not home.” While Connie presents herself as sexually alluring in public, at home she walks in a “childlike” manner and has “pale” lips. In public, she uses her carefully crafted appearances to mismiss boys from her high school whom she feels do not meet her standards.

It is Connie’s intentionally sensuous appearance that draws the attention of Arnold Friend, who first notices her at the restaurant. He tells her that he doesn’t like fat women but instead “like[s] them the way” Connie is. It becomes clear that Arnold also has a two-sided nature but in a different sense than Connie. When Arnold first arrives at Connie’s house, Connie believes that he is just another boy and only realizes later in the conversation that he is at least thirty, a fact he tries to camouflage with tight jeans, leather boots, and sunglasses. Arnold Friend will only admit to being eighteen. At this point Connie begins to sense that she is in real trouble. By the time Connie realizes that Arnold Friend’s “whole face [is] a mask,” her illusions about him have dissipated entirely.

Connie eventually realizes that the seductive appearance she has crafted has endangered her. As Arnold Friend’s initial—albeit odd—friendliness begins to fall away, Connie realizes that he intends to steal her away with mysterious purposes in mind. Although Connie has seen her beauty as a source of power, ultimately it is the source of her downfall in that it has drawn the “special interest” of Arnold Friend. In Arnold’s final spoken words, he calls Connie his “sweet little blue-eyed girl,” even though her eyes are actually brown, further blurring the lines of reality and appearance.

Expert Q&A

What does Arnold Friend's car symbolize in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" and what could be the next number in the series painted on it?

Arnold Friend's car in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" symbolizes temptation, deception, and the sinister side of freedom. To Connie, it initially represents the unknown and her vanity. The numbers on the car likely reference the Bible or the devil, with 15 potentially being the next number, representing Connie's age. The precise meaning of the numbers remains elusive, adding to the story's mystery.

What does the story reveal about society's perception of physical beauty?

The story highlights society's perception of physical beauty as a social construct that traps individuals. Connie's obsession with her appearance and her adherence to societal beauty norms ultimately lead to her downfall, as Arnold Friend is attracted to her because of her looks. Similarly, Arnold manipulates his appearance to fit societal ideals of youth. The narrative suggests that societal standards of beauty inevitably victimize individuals, either through adherence or pursuit of unattainable ideals.

How does Arnold Friend know so much about Connie?

It is never explained how Arnold knows so much about Connie, though common interpretations of the character suggest he has supernatural abilities.

In "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates, is Connie dreaming or is Friend a figment of her imagination?

In Joyce Carol Oates's story, the ambiguity surrounding Arnold Friend and Connie's perception suggests a dream-like or allegorical quality. Connie's interactions with Arnold, who appears both real and fantastical, blur reality and imagination. His characteristics hint at a devilish figure, aligning with the story's themes of innocence lost and duality. Critics suggest Arnold might symbolize Connie's internal conflicts or be a figment of her "trashy daydreams." The narrative's unresolved ending reinforces this ambiguity.

What signs foreshadow Arnold's true character in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

Arnold Friend's true nature in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" is foreshadowed by his deceptive appearance and unsettling characteristics. Initially appearing as a charming teenager, subtle cues such as his false tan, stuffed boots, and awkward grasp of teenage slang reveal his sinister facade. His car, adorned with ominous messages, hints at darker intentions. Critics interpret Arnold as a devil figure, emphasizing the story's theme of the perilous contrast between appearance and reality.

What is the significance of "sunglasses" in Joyce Carol Oates' story "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

In Joyce Carol Oates' "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?," sunglasses symbolize the deceptive nature of Arnold Friend. They prevent Connie from seeing his eyes, the "windows of the soul," reflecting only her diminished image and highlighting her vulnerability. Arnold's concealed eyes and mirrored sunglasses contribute to the story's theme of the disparity between appearance and reality, emphasizing his sinister intentions and the danger he represents.

Could Connie's expectations in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been" have been different if she weren't attractive?

Connie's expectations might have been different if she were not attractive because her vanity and focus on her looks made her vulnerable to Arnold Friend's manipulations. Her attractiveness and conceit led her to underestimate the danger Friend posed, blinding her to his true intentions. While her vanity was not the sole cause of her fate, it played a significant role in her inability to recognize the threat, potentially altering her expectations and decisions.

What is the significance and meaning of this statement from Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?

"She spoke sullenly, careful to show no interest or pleasure, and he spoke in a fast, bright monotone."

The statement reflects the tension between Connie and Arnold Friend, highlighting Connie's cautious demeanor and Arnold's unsettling persistence. Connie's sullen tone indicates her reluctance to engage, while Arnold's fast, monotone speech suggests insincerity and manipulation. This interaction symbolizes the power struggle and Connie's growing realization of danger. Ultimately, it underscores her vulnerability and the inevitability of her fate as she succumbs to Arnold's control, leading to her tragic end.

The theme of "nothing is as it seems" in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

The theme of "nothing is as it seems" in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" is illustrated through the deceptive appearances of characters and situations. Arnold Friend appears friendly but hides sinister intentions, and Connie's initial perception of control is shattered by the unfolding reality. This theme underscores the story’s tension between appearance and reality.

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