One example of the story's verbal irony is in Arnold Friend's name. One could interpret it as an almost literal expression of "An Old Friend," which is ironic, given that he is a stranger to Connie. But she has seen him before, and he recognizes her, so his attempts to be friendly and act as if they share a connection makes his unannounced visit to her house feel, at least to him, socially appropriate. Friend makes small talk, at first, trying to be flirtatious and seeming unconcerned with the fact that Connie is uncomfortable. He seems to understand that Connie is unable to simply tell him to go away, and so he bides his time until he can get her to agree to go for a ride with him.
But this patience is all a ruse, because Friend's companion in the car is impatient. When Ellie, who has been silent...
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the whole time, suddenly blurts out, "You want me to rip the phone from the wall?" we understand that Friend has probably done this before and that Connie is in danger, despite Friend's attempts to calm her fears. It's not clear if Ellie simply wants Friend to get on with it, because he's tired of waiting, or if he thinks Friend is having difficulty getting Connie to acquiesce. We also know that Ellie has previously been an accomplice—if not in any physical assault, at least in actions like ripping the phone from the wall to prevent a victim calling the police. Ellie's brief mention of the criminal act is ironic given how hard Friend is trying to charm Connie, as if he is merely asking her out on a date, when what he ultimately has in mind is much more sinister.
I would argue that Connie’s reversion to childlike panic when confronted with a dangerous situation is an example of situational irony.
Connie believes she is an adult, and she performs adulthood when she is away from her family. At the beginning of the story, she resents her mother for treating her like a child; she even wishes her mother would drop dead.
When Arnold Friend shows up, demanding she leave and threatening her family’s lives if she refuses, Connie becomes a child again. When she picks up the phone to dial the police, she screams for her mother. This suggests that Connie feels helpless and wants to be coddled and comforted like a child. This is ironic because Connie believed she didn't need her mother and that she had lost her childhood innocence prior to this moment. Her hesitation about Arnold Friend stems from her realization that she is not ready to be an adult after all.
Dramatic irony is seen when Arnold Friend comes to Connie's house. Up until this point, she has made it clear by her secretive actions and attitudes that she is beyond having to be worried about, and that she is adult enough to handle herself in the world of older people, like the boys she sees at the restaurant across the highway. The irony, of course, is that when she is confronted with an older guy, she is totally out of her league. Arnold Friend is much older, though he eerily acts much younger to "seduce" his prey. When he shows up at Connie's house, she plays word games with him, telling him he must leave, but he knows she is alone, and quickly wears down her resistance. The most frightening thing about the situation is that even as he erodes her resistance and she realizes the danger she is in, she doesn't have a strong enough sense of self to even resist: she quietly accepts what she knows will be her fate.