illustration of author Mitch Albom sitting next to Morrie Schwartz, who is lying in a bed

Tuesdays With Morrie

by Mitch Albom

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Discussion Topic

Morrie's perspectives on forgiveness and self-pity in "Tuesdays With Morrie"

Summary:

In Tuesdays With Morrie, Morrie emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and advises against self-pity. He believes that forgiving oneself and others is crucial for peace of mind. Morrie also acknowledges moments of self-pity are natural but insists they should be brief, encouraging a focus on meaningful living rather than dwelling on misfortune.

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What is Morrie's perspective on self-pity in Tuesdays With Morrie?

Morrie is adamant about spending the last days of his life on his own terms. So, despite his illness, he refuses to let self-pity overwhelm him. His perspective on self-pity is that it is a double-edged sword: while a little indulgence is necessary at intervals, too much self-pity can be emotionally destructive.

In other words, Morrie accepts the limitations of his mortality but recognizes the importance of a healthy atittude towards impending death. In the book, Morrie tells Mitch that he prefers to focus on living life to the fullest. Because of his perspective, Morrie is able to enjoy every one of his interactions with others.

Morrie's approach towards self-pity is largely responsible for his strong connection to Mitch. During their conversations, Mitch comes to realize what makes Morrie so special. His professor is unequivocally interested in people as individuals, and he always listens to them "without trying to sell them something, pick them up, recruit them, or get some kind of status in return." Morrie's recognition of the human need to be appreciated and accepted is part of what draws others to him. 

While Morrie recognizes his own fears about his illness, he revels in the opportunity to spend time with those he cares about. Additionally, he also enjoys passing on his philosophy about life to Mitch. In all, Morrie's perspective on self-pity testifies to his courage and the strength of his character.

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What does Morrie's perspective on forgiveness in "Tuesdays With Morrie"?

Near the end of his life, when Morrie's body is ravaged by ALS, he shares lessons about forgiveness with Mitch. Pointing to a sculpture of himself, Morrie tells Mitch about his friend Norman, the sculptor. Although they were once close, Morrie had ended their friendship when Norman failed to check on Morrie's wife around the time of a surgery she underwent. Norman had attempted to reach out and repair the relationship, but Morrie rejected him. Later, he learned that Norman had died of cancer. Morrie was utterly devastated. He reveals his deep regret that he never forgave Norman, and this sorrow still causes Morrie great grief; he sobs as he shares his regret with Mitch.

Yet forgiving others is only part of this lesson. Morrie also shares that it is important "to forgive ourselves ... for all the things we didn't do" and "should have done." Although Morrie accomplished a great deal and was widely revered as a phenomenal teacher, he confesses that he wanted to accomplish more. There were things he never got to achieve through his work, books he never got around to writing.

Morrie realizes that everyone has those kinds of regrets, but holding on to a personal sense of failure doesn't lead to any positive outcome. Morrie urges Mitch to make peace with himself and with everyone around him. For this reason, Morrie is thankful for his disease; it has gifted him the time to find peace through forgiveness.

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