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To Kill a Mockingbird

by Harper Lee

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Which quotes from To Kill a Mockingbird illustrate Harper Lee's definition of a lady or gentleman?

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In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee presents different views on being a lady or gentleman. Aunt Alexandra insists on traditional gender roles, urging Scout to wear dresses and act like a "sunbeam." Uncle Jack advises against swearing to appear ladylike. Atticus, however, defines true ladyhood through courage, as exemplified by Mrs. Dubose. Calpurnia teaches Scout the importance of discretion, while societal norms are reflected in Atticus's views on women's roles in juries.

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The great arbiter of what defines a lady is Aunt Alexandria. When she comes to live with the Finches, she and Scout are on a collision course, because Scout most definitely has no desire to conform to her aunt's notion of what constitutes ladylike behavior. Aunt Alexandra tells Scout she must learn to wear dresses if she is to become a lady. She also tells Scout she must be a "sunbeam" so as to conform to Southern notions of ladyhood.

According to Atticus, Aunt Alexandra also defines a lady as someone who knows about her ancestry and family heritage. Atticus says to Scout and Jem that Aunt Alexandra wants to talk to them about their family so that they can "behave like the little lady and gentleman that you are."

But Uncle Jack also takes it upon himself to instruct tomboy Scout in the niceties of being a lady....

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He notes that she likes to say "damn" and "hell." He tells her not to do so, because if she uses those words, she will not be seen as a lady. He says to her,

"You want to grow up to be a lady, don’t you?”

I said not particularly.

“Of course you do."

Mrs. Dubose happens to agree with Aunt Alexandra on the kind of dress befitting a lady, saying to Scout,

What are you doing in those overalls? You should be in a dress and camisole, young lady! You’ll grow up waiting on tables if somebody doesn’t change your ways—a Finch waiting on tables at the O.K. Café—hah!

But while most people seem to define ladyhood as wearing dresses, smiling to the point of being a "sunbeam," and using delicate language rather than swearing, Atticus offers a different definition. After Mrs. Dubose dies, he says, "You know, she was a great lady.”

When Jem pushes Atticus on how such a difficult person could be a great lady, Atticus states that it is because of her courage, saying, "She was the bravest person I ever knew."

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There are many perspectives on what it means to be a woman, but it seems that Lee espouses a traditional understanding of what it means to be a lady. Women are tactful, dressed well, quiet, and less capable than men. Jem, though a youth says to Scout:

"I was not so sure, but Jem told me I was being a girl, that girls always imagined things, that's why other people hated them so, and if I started behaving like one I could just go off and find some to play with."

Aunt Alexandria, who is a better gauge to the sentiment of the adult world, feels the following about Scout:

"Aunt Alexandra was fanatical on the subject of my attire. I [Scout] could not possibly hope to be a lady if I wore breeches; when I said I could do nothing in a dress, she said I wasn’t supposed to be doing things that required pants."

Even Calpurnia, whom the reader immediately respects, models what it means to be a lady. Scout observes:

"[Calpurnia] seemed glad to see me when I appeared in the kitchen, and by watching her I began to think there was some skill involved in being a girl."

At another point in the novel, Calpurnia explains to Scout that women should be quiet, until there is an opportunity to speak. She says:

"It's not necessary to tell all you know. It's not ladylike—in the second place, folks don't like to have somebody around knowin' more than they do. It aggravates 'em. You're not gonna change any of them by talkin' right, they've got to want to learn themselves, and when they don't want to learn there's nothing you can do but keep your mouth shut or talk their language."

Even Atticus, whose voice is nearly infallible, sees women in a frail light. He explains why women should not serve on juries.

"I guess it's to protect our frail ladies from sordid cases like Tom's. Besides," Atticus grinned, "I doubt if we'd ever get a complete case tried-the ladies'd be interrupting to ask questions."

Undoubtedly, the novel, as great as it is, is a product of its time. 

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