members of his family throughout the novel.

First, it is clear in the novel that part of Igbo culture is paying respect to one's ancestors. People pray to the spirits of their ancestors for guidance, for example. Achebe demonstrates how important it is in Igbo culture to revere the ancestors and to consult them on serious matters even though they are no longer living.

Okonkwo violates the tradition in the sense that he does not respect his own father. Okonkwo's father was a musician who was not financially successful. Okonkwo thinks his father is not masculine enough and vows to never be like him, so he goes to the other extreme and overvalues his own manliness and demands it of his children. Okonkwo has somewhat strained relationships within his own immediate family as a result. His eldest son Nwoye is not anything like Okonkwo personality-wise and is much more sensitive. He doesn't live up to Okonkwo's standards of masculinity. Oknokwo has a daughter named Ezinma with whom he is close, but his relationship with her is qualified by the fact that she is female. Okonkwo has three wives, which is permitted, but he beats one of them during the Peace Week, and that is strictly forbidden. Eventually, Okonkwo is exiled to his motherland after committing a "feminine crime" : accidentally killing a man with a shot of his gun. He is not accepting of his mother's tribe and their perspective on gender roles. All Okonkwo can think about is how he's going to get back to his village and rebuild his wealth and reputation. In some ways, Okonkwo is a tragic hero because he is isolated from others, including the ancestors and his own family. So through Okonkwo's mistakes, we might say that family relationships are important in Igbo life and if one does not properly respect those bonds, he may find himself in trouble.

Okonkwo’s friends and family all play crucial roles in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. Indeed, the individuals who surround Okonkwo all contribute to his perception of his life. Some influences, like his best friend and confidant Obierika, are positive and attempt to steer him away from his self-destructive tendencies. In one key scene, Obierika chastises Okonkwo for taking part in murdering his adoptive son Ikemefuna:

“If I were you I would have stayed at home. What you have done will not please the Earth. It is the kind of action for which the goddess wipes out whole families” (67).

Here, Obierika uses his position as Okonkwo’s best friend to impart sound advice.

Okonkwo’s family life, however, is more chaotic. He is fiercely domineering and abuses his wives and children:

“Okonkwo ruled his household with a heavy hand. His wives, especially the youngest, lived in perpetual fear of his fiery temper, and so did his little children. Perhaps down in his heart Okonkwo was not a cruel man. But his whole life was dominated by fear, the fear of failure and of weakness” (13).

Okonkwo values his three wives and various children, but he is unwilling to display any emotion other than anger for fear of being perceived as weak. Okonkwo is especially hard on his oldest son Nwoye, and his constant abuse and criticism of the young man steadily dissolves their already tenuous relationship. Nwoye eventually joins the Christian church, and this is another blow in Okonkwo’s sad, tragic life.

Thus, friends and family play important, disparate roles in the novel.

Family is presented as a highly patriarchal institution in Things Fall Apart.

Okonkwo's reputation rests in part on having a prosperous and well-controlled family. We see him exercising a great deal of power over his family members, in what is anything but a equalitarian family structure. He is the head of the family, and his three wives and his children are meant to follow him. He beats his wife and children. In certain instances, he will lose face if he does not, though when he beats one wife during the week of peace, the community disciplines him. On the other hand, when his youngest wife insults his gun, and Okonkwo shoots it at her, the community does not interfere.

The novel shows clearly the toxic masculinity that is part of many cultures. Okonkwo is not supposed to show emotions of love toward his family, as that would be a sign of weakness, and he murders his foster son, Ikemefuna, rather than lose face in front of his male peers.

Family life is presented in the novel as a way a man can secure a strong reputation but at a high price for everyone involved. A man's wife and children are open to abuse, while the patriarch himself must put saving face over human feeling. The novel shows toxic masculinity ultimately undoing Okonkwo, who cannot find a healthy way to relate to his family.

In Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe presents the theme of family as strongly influenced by culture and as changing over time, in part because of the influence of colonialism. While Achebe highlights relationships between fathers and sons, he also addresses marital practices such as polygamy.

The importance of father-son relationships in Igbo society is made evident through Okonkwo’s attitude toward and interactions with his father, whom he does not view as a positive role model. Okonkwo strives to be a successful man, which includes providing for his wives and their children. Although the prosperity and potential contribution to the household and farm are considered in potential spouses, love is also a motivation for marriage, as shown through his second marriage to Ekwefi.

Okonkwo is shown as doting on their daughter, Ezinma, but also striving to control her marital options. The importance of paternal influence is seen in the next generation after Okonkwo returns from exile to find his son Nwoye has converted to Christianity; one consequence of conversion is the abandonment of polygamy.