How does Okonkwo's relationship with Nwoye evolve in Things Fall Apart?

Okonkwo is haunted by the memory of his own father, who was known for being lazy and constantly in debt. One of Okonkwo's main motivations in life is to separate himself from the memory of his father. He strives to work harder than anyone else, to have more titles, and to strictly obey the customs of the tribe, in part to show that he is not his father’s son. This background colors his relationship with his own son, Nwoye, who reminds Okonkwo more and more of his father.

Okonkwo’s dislike for his son is magnified by the arrival of Ikemefuna as a hostage of sorts in his household. Ikemefuna has all the traits Okonkwo wishes Nwoye possessed; when the two boys become friends, Ikemefuna helps Nwoye become more active and “manly.”

When the decision is made that Ikemefuna must be killed, Okonkwo himself kills him, against the advice of village elders. This act has far-reaching consequences. In a way, Okonkwo sacrifices his family so that he can be obedient to tribal custom, but it is not clear what his real motivations are. It is possible that, instead of duty, Okonkwo acts out of self-hatred or a need to once again show how tough he is, to contrast himself with his father.

At any rate, Ikemefuna’s death destroys his relationship with his son. The son, in his turn, acts out against Okonkwo, just as Okonkwo acted out against his father: Nwoye becomes a Christian, we suspect, mostly out of spite. His religious fervor and his white allies become weapons to use against the thing his father respects most: the tribe.

How does Okonkwo's relationship with Nwoye evolve in Things Fall Apart?

In Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Achebe focuses special attention on the strained, often toxic relationship between Okonkwo and his oldest son Nwoye. Okonkwo is heavy-handed and dictatorial in how he heads his household. His wives and children fear Okonkwo’s violence and brutality, and Nwoye is often the recipient of Okonkwo’s fury:

“Okonkwo's first son, Nwoye, was then twelve years old but was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness. At any rate, that was how it looked to his father, and he sought to correct him by constant nagging and beating. And so Nwoye was developing into a sad-faced youth” (13-14).

Okonkwo is abusive toward Nwoye in an effort to instill his own restrictive, masculine values into his son. However, Okonkwo’s forceful, authoritarian parenting style drives Nwoye away from his father. He comes to resent Okonkwo, and later in the novel, he joins the Christian church and directly rebukes his relationship with his father:

“Mr. Kiaga's joy was very great. 'Blessed is he who forsakes his father and his mother for my sake,' he intoned.... Nwoye did not fully understand. But he was happy to leave his father” (152).

After Nwoye joins the Christian faith, he is dead to Okonkwo. Okonkwo resents Nwoye’s perceived weaknesses, and questions how he could produce such a child. Thus, their relationship progresses from strained to toxic, and they eventually separate forever.

In Things Fall Apart, how does society change in the course of the lifetimes of Unoka, Okonkwo and Nwoye?

The so-called lazy ways of Unoka are a negative symbol for his son Okonkwo. Because his father poor, and dies owing many debts, he is said to have lived his life by following feminine energy. This is an embarrassment to Okonkwo, who decides to be just the opposite of his father, in masculine energy and who garnishes many titles and riches.

Achebe uses this contrast to show that although the Igbo's have a rich cultural life, there are dangerous divisions that will later lead to the downfall of that culture. Although Okonkwo seems to be the ideal Igbo male, he is really living his life in fear of being like his father. That is why his son, Nwoye, is such a disappointment to him. Nwoye seems more like his mother than his father and this feeds his father's fears that his owon so may be like his father.

When Ikemefuna comes, Okonkwo takes an immediate liking to this masculine boy and hopes this boy's personality will rub off on Nwoye. Unfortunately, Ikefefuna's execution is ordered and it is Okonkwo, fearing he will be thought a coward, who commits the execution.  This has a lasting effect on Nwoye, who rejects the ways of his father and is left open to the message of the white missionaries who appear just as Okonkwo is banished to his mother's land.

While Okonkwo is gone, Nwoye becomes a part of the missionary church, something that embarrasses Okonkwo even more. When Okonkwo returns, he cannot accept the changes the missionaries and the white government have brought to the Igbo people. He ends up committing suicide. In the end, the Igbo people have been changed from a strong band of villages to a subservient people to the white colonists because their society and beliefs lead to weaknesses within their own tribe.

How is Okonkwo and Nwoye's relationship tragic in Things Fall Apart?

In Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, the relationship between Okonkwo and his son Nwoye is tragic because they ultimately become estranged. Even before their estrangement, their relationship is strained at best, and Okonkwo is abusive and brutal to Nwoye in order to sort out his son’s perceived weakness, a weakness that reminds Okonkwo of his own father. Early in the novel, Okonkwo threatens Nwoye when he mishandles yams, the manliest crop:

“Sometimes Okonkwo gave them a few yams each to prepare. But he always found fault with their effort, and he said so with much threatening. 'Do you think you are cutting up yams for cooking?' he asked Nwoye. 'If you split another yam of this size, I shall break your jaw'” (32).

The sensitive Nwoye suffers under his father’s oppressive masculinity, and finds refuge in the form of the Christian missionaries who enter the region. Nwoye eventually runs away from his abusive father and joins the Christian church:

“Mr. Kiaga's joy was very great. 'Blessed is he who forsakes his father and his mother for my sake,' he intoned. 'Those that hear my words are my father and my mother.' Nwoye did not fully understand. But he was happy to leave his father” (152).

This is why their relationship is toxic and, ultimately, tragic. Okonkwo is abusive to the point that he drives his son away from his traditional values and, in doing so, their relationship mimics Okonkwo’s relationship with his own neglectful father.