Is Okonkwo a good or bad father in Things Fall Apart?

In the novel Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo displays dominance among his family and clan, and he is well respected. He is famous for his personal achievements, such as defeating the Cat in a wrestling tournament, and holds many titles. He is a hardworking and successful farmer, which results in his wealth. However, Okonkwo also fears failure, rules his household with a heavy hand, and displays a great amount of anger.

"Okonkwo never showed any emotion openly, unless it be the emotion of anger. To show affection was a sign of weakness; the only thing worth demonstrating was strength." (pg. 28)

Although he admires his children, he does not often show them affection, because he believes showing affection is a sign of weakness. Many of Okonkwo's actions could be used to justify the idea that he is a "bad" father. He threatens his adopted son with a big stick when the son refuses to eat, he threatens to break the jaw of his oldest son for the way he cuts yams, and he openly beats his wives in front of his children. Okonkwo's involvement in the killing of his adopted son and the lack of attention towards and respect for his oldest son, Nwoye, ultimately results in Nwoye's conversion to Christianity, partially to get away from Okonkwo.

No matter the lack of affection he shows, Okonkwo does instill in his children a good and solid work ethic, which could be considered a trait of a "good" father. His favorite child, Ezinma, whom he wishes was born a boy, does not whine or question any job given to her; she does it with a good attitude. Despite his departure from the clan and family, Nwoye always shows respect for others' differences. However, regardless of the morals he instills in his children, Okonkwo's violence, threats, and lack of attention and affection give grounds for him being labeled a "bad" father.

What are Okonkwo's feelings towards his son Nwoye in "Things Fall Apart"?

In Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo feels ashamed of his son Nwoye in Part I of the novel and betrayed by him in Parts II and III.

In Part I, Okonkwo's greatest fear is that Nwoye will become like his grandfather Uneka, a titleless and effeminate male (agbala).  Certainly, Nwoye seems more attracted to his mother and the arts than he does the uber-male culture of yam farming, wrestling, and war.  Luckily, Ikemefuna comes along and becomes a surrogate brother to the boy, instilling in him the virtues of manhood.  However, after Nwoye realizes that Okonkwo is the one who kills Ikemefuna, the boy disowns his father.  Or does Okonkwo kill Ikemefuna to spite his own son?

In Parts II and III, Okonkwo hates his son for betraying the tribal culture in favor of the white colonial religion, Christianity.  Okonkwo refuses to engage the boy as to the reasons of his conversion; if he had, he would realize that Nwoye has long been bothered by the tribe's practice of killing twins and other foreigners (Ikemefuna) and outcasts.  Regardless, Okonkwo's fear is realized, as Nwoye becomes the titleless male whose conversion, among others, helps to break apart his family and, over time, unravel the culture of the Igbo.

In Things Fall Apart, why was Okonkwo famous?

Okonkwo is famous because of how he is able to define his identity in conjunction with socially established norms of "success."  Okonkwo makes himself in the Igbo image of success.  He defines himself through his notable strength, vision of masculinity, and in being what others deem as a "success." He is a strong warrior, able to defeat worthy adversaries, and defend that which is his.  He shows this with his defeat of Amalinze, someone who had remained undefeated for years.  His reputation as a wrestler is something of legend.  He is also famous for being economically successful.  Okonkwo is able to generate wealth through his own prowess and skill, reflective in his advancements in farming.   In marrying three women and serving as father to many children, the Igbo notion of strength and success are parts of Okonkwo's identity.  He demonstrates success to such a degree that he is famous for his accomplishments, moving him closer to having titles of respectability conferred upon him.

Okonkwo is also famous because he actively defines himself in opposition to his past.  Okonkwo is driven to craft his identity in stark opposition to his father. Where his father had debt, Okonkwo refuses to hold any situation which could develop as a debit.  Where his father was lazy, Okonkwo is strong and focused. Okonkwo develops a name for himself by not being scared of things, like war and conflict, that had scared his father.  Okonkwo embodies family responsibility where his father abandoned them.  While his father was "soft" and deemed as unmanly, Okonkwo defines himself as the archetype of what it means to be a man.  In this regard, Okonkwo is famous for being everything his father is not.   In these ways, the exposition of the novel establishes why Okonkwo is famous.

Compare Obierika's and Okonkwo's relationships and opinions of their sons in Things Fall Apart.

Obierka is proud of his son Maduka. Maduka is a strong and skillful wrestler; at age of fifteen or sixteen, he participates in a wrestling match and defeats his opponent in an especially innovative and efficient manner. As wrestling is an important way for young men to exhibit their strength and prowess in the Ibo tribe, Maduka earns the admiration of his fellow wrestlers and the men of the tribe with his accomplishment. Obierka treats his son with indulgence, and brags about him proudly to the other men, saying,

"I sometimes think he is too sharp...he hardly ever walks. He is always in a hurry. If you are sending him on an errand he flies away before he has heard half of the message."

Maduka is a credit to his father, and his father does not hide the fact that he loves him.

On the other hand, Nwoye is a sensitive child who shies away from the perceived "manly" activities preferred by the males in the tribe. Nwoye prefers to listen to the stories told by his mother and the other women, and Okonkwo is dismayed by his behavior and belittles him regularly. The relationship between Nwoye and Okonkwo is unpleasant and dysfunctional at best. Okonkwo worries that Nwoye shares similar attributes with his own father, who was easy-going and ineffectual, and not looked upon highly by the tribe. Okonkwo is deeply ashamed of his son; Nwoye's personality taps into Okonkwo's greatest fears about himself. Okonkwo thinks his son tends to be effeminate, and lacking in the qualities that, to him, define a strong warrior and a man. Okonkwo constantly tries in his own life to prove, to himself and everyone else, that he is ferocious and powerful, and in his relationship with Nwoye, who has neither of those qualities, he is scornful, abusive, and embarrassed.

Describe the relationship between Okonkwo and his son in 'Things Fall Apart'.

Suffice to say, Okonkwo & Nwoye's relationship was not a loving one. Okonkwo considers Nwoye feminine and weak, & he routinely abuses him because of this. Before Ikemefuna's arrival, Nwoye often incurred the wrath of Okonkwo. He considered his son weak and feminine, often treating Enzinma (his daughter) better than Nwoye (his son). Okonkwo saw too much of Unoka in Nwoye, and was terrified he would end up like his grandfather. Thus, Nwoye was physically beaten and mentally berated by his father. But when Ikemefuna arrived, Nwoye transformed. He became the son Okonkwo wanted, eager to hunt, grow yams, and scoff at stories as "children's stuff".

Yet after Ikemefuna's death, the gap between father & son grows ever wider. The ultimate severance comes when Nwoye becomes a member of the white church. Nwoye joins the church because he feels isolated, alone, never understood. With Ikemefuna, he was more open, more willing to express his personality. Ikemefuna's presence seemed to offset Okonkwo's overbearing and violent nature. His death came just as Nwoye was becoming aware of his role within the culture, and it shocked his beliefs in the tribe's traditions. However, Ikemefuna's death was not the only source of Nwoye's disillusionment with the tribe. After his friend's killing. Nwoye feels something snap inside him. He feels this same snap when he hears twins crying the woods, and knows they have been left to die according to the village's laws. So he and Okonkwo are diferent in that respect too: Okonkwo lives his life by teh rules of the tribe, while Nwoye seeks something  different.

Although the conflict between Okonkwo and Nwoye informs many themes in the book, it is interesting to note that they are both alike in one way: They are both eventually alienated from traditions and beliefs of the tribe. While Okonkwo does so in a violent and almost savage way, Nwoye does so by turning to the church. So while they move in two very different directions, their mutual separation from the tribe links them in their alienation.

What makes Okonkwo's father popular in Things Fall Apart?

I suppose the answer to this question regarding Chinua Achebe's novel Things Fall Apart depends upon your definition of the term useful. In that case, I'll answer it in two ways: 

1. Unoka's musicality: Unoka is described as an incredibly talented musician, which has a symbiotic relationship with his love for leisure and feasts. This skill might be seen as useful in a culture where many traditions rely on music as an important component. 
   
   
2. Unoka's effect on Okonkwo: Much of Okonkwo's character has developed directly in opposition to Unoka's own defining personality traits. Because of Unoka's laziness and "shamelessness", Okonkwo becomes an incredibly well-respected and traditional Igbo man. In this way, Unoka's "failings" positively impact Okonkwo's character development if perceived through a traditionalist Igbo perspective.