What was Okonko's relationship with his wife Ekewfi and daughter Ezinma in Things Fall Apart?

Okonkwo's relationship with Ekwefi is different than the relationships he has with his other wives.  Ekwefi is more independent and strong-willed than the other women and she is not afraid to stand up to Okonkwo.  Because of this she suffers severe beating from him.  She was married once before and later fell in love with Okonkwo when he won an important wrestling match and gained acquired fame within his tribe.  Ezinma is their only child who survived past her toddler years and is Ekwefi's pride and joy.

Okonwko thinks the world of Ezinma and often wishes she was a boy.  It has been suggested that this might be due to the fact that they have a strong relationship and Okonkwo longs to have that kind of relationship with his son, Nwoye.  Ezinma understands her father in a way that most other people do not--so much so, that there are times they don't even need to speak to be able to understand one another.  Ezinma is smart, responsible, and very mature for her age and because of this, Okonkwo tends to favor her over the rest of his children.

How does Okonkwo's relationship with Ekwefi and Ezinma develop his character in Things Fall Apart?

Ekwefi was the village beauty. She left her husband to become the wife of Okonkwo. No doubt, this boosted Oknokwo's ego. He won Ekwefi's heart when he wrestled Amalinze the Cat and won the championship. Ekwefi and Okonkwo have an only child together, Ezinma. Ezinma is Okonkwo's favorite daughter. He has a tenderness for Ezinma that reveals Okonkwo is capable of showing his tender feelings. He becomes even gentle around Ezinma.

When Ezinma becomes sick, Okonkwo seeks the help of a medicine man. He goes to great lengths to see that Ezinma gets well. Okonkwo's tender emotions reveal that he has the ability to show love.

Ekwefi lives for Ezinma and Okonkwo knows this. He loves both Ekwefi and Ezinma. Ezinma understands him like no one else. He becomes emotional around Ezinma. He shares tender moments with her. He proves he has a heart around Ezinma.

Ezinma is bold in the way she approaches Okonkwo and he allows it. He shows her his attention, love and respect:

Ezinma alone seems to win Okonkwo’s full attention, affection, and, ironically, respect. She and he are kindred spirits, which boosts her confidence and precociousness.

Ezinma is the pride and joy of her parents. She manages to change Okonkwo into a caring man. He definitely has a softness when Ezinma is around:

Okonkwo favors his daughter, who is not only as beautiful as her mother once was, but who grows to understand her father and his moods as no one else does. Father and daughter form a special bond.

Okonkwo and Ekwefi treat Ezinma as their equal. She is favored and gets away with more things than the other children.

Okonkwo and Ekwefi treat Ezinma like she is their equal rather than their child. They permit her privileges that other family and tribal children are not granted.

Truly, Okonkwo adores Ezinma. He showers her with attention, love and respect. He mutters that she should have been born a boy because of her masculine traits:

Okonkwo's only regret towards Ezinma is that she is not a boy.

No doubt, Ekwefi and Ezinma have a way of touching Okonkwo. He shows his love for them in a special way. Ekwefi and Ezinma have a way of breaking down Okonkwo's tough exterior. He becomes tender and caring in their presence.

How does Okonkwo's relationship with Ezinma compare to his relationship with Nwoye?

In Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo clearly demonstrates favoritism toward Ezinma compared to his strained relationship with his oldest son Nwoye. He feels that Ezinma is one of the few people who understand him, and his attitude toward his daughter contrasts greatly with the way that he attempts to impart his brutal masculine values upon Nwoye.

His bond with Ezinma is strengthened during his time in exile in Mbanta. He views her as the favorite among his children:

“Okonkwo was very luck in his daughters. He never stopped regretting that Ezinma was a girl. Of all his children she alone understood his every mood. A bond of sympathy had grown between them as the years had passed” (172).

Okonkwo wishes that Ezinma was born a boy because she exhibits many of the traits that he wishes Nwoye had.

Nwoye, on the other hand, experiences the majority of his father’s abusive behaviors. Okonkwo sees Nwoye as weak, much like his own ill-fated father Unoka, and he aspires to beat these qualities out of him. Okonkwo pushes Nwoye too far, however, and the young man becomes affiliated with the Christian church. When he joins the church, Nwoye rebukes his relationship with his father:

“Mr. Kiaga’s joy was very great. ‘Blessed is he who forsakes his father and his mother for my sake,’ he intoned. ‘Those that hear my words are my father and my mother.’ Nwoye did not fully understand. But he was happy to leave his father” (153).

Thus, Okonkwo’s bond with Ezinma is entirely different from his toxic relationship with Nwoye.

Contrast Okonkwo's treatment of his son Nwoye with the treatment of his daughter Ezinma in Things Fall Apart.

Okonkwo worries that from an early age Nwoye seems to be more like Okonkwo's father than himself. So he worries about him being weak and womanly and not interested in working hard and becoming a great wrestler and warrior, all the things that Okonkwo thinks are most important in life. Because of this, Okonkwo is frequently angry with the boy and wishes he was more like Ikemefuna, the boy given to Okonkwo from a neighboring village. Eventually, during Okonkwo's absence from Umuofia, Nwoye converts to Christianity which further enrages Okonkwo.

Ezinma, on the other hand, is a girl Okonkwo wishes were a boy because she has all the traits he loves. She is smart, hard-working, and tough in all the ways that Nwoye is not. So Okonkwo favors her despite the fact that he knows she cannot succeed him in the way a son could. Of course, even with Ezinma, his affection is only rarely demonstrated.

What is the relationship between Ekwefi and Okonkwo?

Ekwefi is Okonkwo’s wife. More precisely, she is his second wife. After Okonkwo caught her eye with his wrestling prowess, he had wanted to make her his first wife. As a great beauty from a good family, however, she commanded a high bride price, which Okonkwo could not afford. While she married another man, later she left him for Okonkwo.

She is also the mother of their daughter, Ezinma, who was the only child to survive out of Ekwefi’s 10 pregnancies. Although in one way, Okonkwo regrets that she is not a boy, in another way he is glad to have a daughter, to whom he can be tender and caring as he cannot be toward his sons. As her mother, Ekwefi holds a special place among Okonkwo’s wives. The fact that she had been married before, and chose to leave the previous husband to marry him, is also a point of pride for him.

Ekwefi and Okonkwo are often united in their attitudes toward parenting. She shows her courage and devotion to their daughter when Agbala, a spirit taking the form of the priestess Chielo, takes the child to the oracle’s cave. (In ordinary daily life Chielo is Ekwefi’s co-marketwoman). Ekwefi follows, despite her own fear of the dark, and later realizes that Okonkwo has been following as well.

What is the contrast of Okonkwo's opinion of his son, Nwoye, with the opinion of his daughter, Ezinma?