Self-reliance: Forcing your three-year-old to learn to cook hot dogs to feed herself isn't exactly a stellar parenting move, but Jeannette does learn reliance through such trials. From her earliest memories, her parents expect her to do things far beyond what a typical child would be expected to do, and she internalizes this as normal. She learns that she is strong and capable of doing hard things. When she's thirteen, she is the one making a budget and learning to make the most of their limited resources. She learns to depend on herself because she can't depend on her parents.
The power of dreaming big: Jeannette's father comes up with the plans for the Glass Castle from the title, and Jeannette and her brother buy into the magnificence of it all. The very premise is a farce, but Jeannette learns through this dream of her father's that just because they have limited resources does not mean that she should limit her own dreams. Her father gives her a similar lesson when he gifts her a planet (which she thought was a star). And Jeannette does dream big, eventually leaving for New York and becoming a writer with a life she has always longed for.
Sometimes you just need to skedaddle: Dad is famous for "doing the skedaddle" when he works himself into an impossible predicament, and he makes no excuses for his unwillingness to dig deep and persevere. In dealing with her own parents, Jeannette finds that sometimes she has to pull the skedaddle on them, too. Though they believe themselves devoted parents who are teaching their children all the important lessons in life, their influence is toxic. In her adult life, Jeanette finds a balance in putting up some walls to separate her life from theirs. They do come together from time to time, enjoying Thanksgiving or another celebration. Even in her final conversation with her father in the book, he asks (almost unbelievingly) if he has ever let her down. She doesn't answer, which is perhaps the best boundary she could offer.
One lesson that Jeannette Walls learns from her parents is how to live in a way that is authentic. Her parents are unconventional, and at the beginning of the book, Jeannette (as an adult) catches sight of her mother rooting through a Dumpster to find items of value. However, when Jeannette asks her parents if they want anything, they respond that they don't need anything. While Jeannette finds herself feeling embarrassed about her parents, they are unapologetic and insist that they are living the way they want to live.
Jeannette Walls's parents also teach her not to become afraid of things. Even after she burns herself so badly that she is hospitalized as a young child, her mother tells her to "get right back in the saddle" (15). Her parents don't want her to be afraid of something like fire, and they encourage her to be bold rather than scared.
Finally, her parents teach her to get by without many material goods. When they are camping in the dessert, they don't have pillows, and Jeannette's father tells his children it's to teach them good posture. Their mother teaches them to wash themselves even with just a cup of water, and their mother ignores them when they are crying so they can learn to rely on themselves. As a result, Jeannette and her siblings are highly self-reliant.
I think the most positive lessons Jeannette learns from her parents were not intentionally taught. Rather, they were perhaps the unsought consequences of living through childhood in "survival" mode with parents who didn't seem to know any better.
First, Jeannette and her siblings learned not to rely on anyone for anything, but instead to be as resourceful as possible on their own. They also learned not to get physically attached to anything that had sentimental or emotional value. Every time the family moved, the children were only allowed to take one important thing with them. For the most part, the children did not make any emotional attachments, and when they did, they learned to treasure something intangible inside them, rather than require something physical to fulful an emotional need.
The children learned how to stand up for themselves and each other. These kids were by no means crybabies, especially with a father who constantly reinforced the lesson that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
We also know, at the end of the story, that no matter what her parents did or didn't do, somehow Jeannette managed to keep her sense of humor. Despite the debateable neglect and abuse of their children, throughout the story it is obvious that Jeannette believes she is loved. It is also obvious that there are as many fond memories of childhood as there are horrific ones. This says that both of her parents, for all their seeming worthlessness, were genuine and sincere in the raising of their children. They maintained a lighthearted approach, always, to poverty and hardship. They made things liveable and fun. Because of this, Jeannette and her brother and sister will always be able to look on the bright side, no matter what kind of difficulty finds them, and likely they will have the attitude that they can survive absolutely anything.
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