Ralf's work and position as a high-ranking member of the Nazi party impacts his identity by reinforcing his sense of his own power and elevates his place in society. The men under his command fear him. When soldiers are in his presence, they are respectful and often nervous. Some want to impress him with their own brutality towards the prisoners. He has become hardened to the feelings of others and uses his work and position to create a tense work and living situation where everyone is expected to perform in-line with his strict rules and sense of order. He displays this same callousness and demand for order toward his children and his wife. He puts his position as commandant above everything else in his life, including his family.

Ralf’s parents shake their heads in wonder at the path he has taken and the brutality of the regime in which he has attained such a lofty position. At Christmas dinner, his mother tells him outright how disappointed she is in him. He tries to explain to her that he his position in the Nazi party makes him an important person, but his rank does not impress her as it impresses Ralf. It is not until the end of the book after Bruno has gone under the fence to the other side of the concentration camp and disappeared, presumably killed in the gas chamber or ovens, that Ralf understands how meaningless his elevated position as a Nazi commandant was and that what was really important all along was his family and loved ones.