Sunworshippers

by Cathy Song

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Summary

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"Sunworshippers" is a poem nestled within School Figures, a collection that draws vivid portraits of Song’s family members. The poet finds herself caught between the affectionate yet frustrating quirks of her relatives and the need to reconcile her feelings toward her familial heritage. This struggle is a recurring theme throughout her work, particularly evident in "Sunworshippers," which delves into the complexity of these familial ties.

Maternal Precepts and Rebellion

The poem opens with the speaker recalling her mother’s admonishments regarding sunbathing: "Who will marry you/ if your skin is sunbaked and dried up like beef jerky?" In line with Old World traditions, her mother insisted on hats and gloves for sun protection during outings and even carried an umbrella to shield herself from the sun’s rays. As the speaker reflects on her mother’s philosophy about the body, she reveals her own internal conflict. This struggle against her mother's oppressive teachings led her to anorexia. She presents her retort with a blend of sarcasm and resentment, perhaps even laced with a reluctant fondness, as she mocks her mother's perspective on bodily care. She interprets her mother's warnings as veiled criticisms against self-love, prompting a rebellious response of self-denial through eating less.

Anorexia as Identity and Epiphany

While anorexia emerges as a troubling health concern, it also symbolizes the speaker's quest for identity. The poem evolves into a portrait of the speaker's journey as a young woman towards self-discovery. This path to self-knowledge culminates in a metaphoric awakening, portraying her as a young woman endowed with a profound and mystical sensitivity. She metaphorically "devoured radiance,/ essential as chlorophyll." This peculiar scenario of self-starvation becomes a catalyst for her intellectual maturation, allowing her to claim that "Undetected, I slipped in and out of books,/ passages of music, brightly painted rooms// to weave one’s self, ropes of it, whole/ and fully formed, was a way of shining/ out of this world." There is an irony here, as this moment of enlightenment occurs under the shadow of anorexia, suggesting the brilliance could be an illusion produced by fasting. The initial tension between mother and daughter remains unresolved, and ironically, this unresolved conflict fuels the poet's creative drive to write.

Irony and Creative Tension

This lingering conflict between the maternal figure and the speaker is central to the poem, generating a sustained creative tension. It is this very tension that perpetuates the speaker's introspection and fuels her literary endeavors. The poem does not provide a neat resolution, but instead, it embraces the complexity of family dynamics and personal growth. The unresolved issues serve as a source of inspiration rather than a point of distress. The speaker's journey is marked by a constant negotiation of identity, shaped by her mother's old-world views and her own need for self-expression.

Conclusion: Navigating Familial Legacies

"Sunworshippers" captures the perpetual dance of acceptance and rebellion within familial relationships. The poem is an exploration of how ancestral wisdom and personal identity can clash, yet also coexist in a person's life. The poet’s wrestle with her mother's ideals and her own self-concept illustrates a universal theme of generational conflict, making the piece resonate widely with its audience. Through the lens of this personal narrative, the poem speaks to the broader human experience of understanding oneself in the context of family. Ultimately, it portrays the dual role family can play as both a source of limitation and a wellspring of inspiration.

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