Student Question
Did Emily's mother in Tillie Olsen's "I Stand Here Ironing" favor her other children over Emily?
Quick answer:
Emily's mother does not favor her other children over Emily, but she feels guilty for not being able to give Emily the attention she deserved due to poverty and her own youth. She loves Emily deeply, as shown by her efforts to stay with her as much as possible. The mother regrets the times she had to leave Emily and acknowledges her daughter's talents, ultimately expressing pride and confidence in her future.
The mother of "I Stand Here Ironing" seems to feel some guilt about not having the money to be able to keep Emily at home, and she recriminates herself for not smiling at her enough,
What was in my face when I looked at her? I loved her. There were all the acts of love.
It was only with the others I remembered what he said, and it was the face of joy, and not of care or tightness or worry I turned to them--too late for Emily.
Nevertheless, she does love Emily as much as the others; she only neglected Emily because she was too poor to care for her and too worn out and too young (19). The mother begins her monologue with the words, "She was a beautiful baby," proof that she does love Emily. When she was young, she took "
a job hashing at night so...
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I could be with her days, and it was better."
Again, the mother feels some ambivalence about having to put Emily in a nursery--parking places for children--because it "was the only way I could hold a job."
Anytime that the mother has to leave Emily, she regrets doing so. She puts the iron down, and explains to the official that Emily has a rare gift for comedy and she rues that was not enough time to devote to her. Yet, she is proud of Emily and has confidence in her,
"Now suddenly she was Somebody....She is so lovely. Why did you want me to come in at all? Why were you concerned? She will find her way."
At last, the mother admits that she will "never total at all." But, Emily was a
"child of anxious, not proud, love....She kept too much in herself....My wisdom came too late."
And, in a final act of love, the mother pleads with the official,
There is still enough left to live by. Only help her to know--help make it so there is cause for her to know--that she is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the iron.