What is the theme of "I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen?

In the short story by Olsen, "I Stand Here Ironing," one of the themes is a mother's regret. As the mother stands at her ironing board pressing a dress, she recounts the childhood of her eldest daughter, Emily. Emily was the most beautiful baby out of the five children. However, after the father left, leaving a note that told his wife he no longer desired to share "want with us" (para 8), Emily's life became complicated. The mother recollects the times she had to send Emily away, so she could make a living. Through these absences, Emily's beauty vanished, and she became thin and "foreign-looking," like her father.

The mother regrets the years that have passed while she and her daughter grew further apart. However, even though the mother regrets those years, by the end of the story, she admits to herself that she did the best she could, given the situation. The mother rationalizes that Emily was simply a product of her environment, which included the war and uncertain economic times. There seems no clear cut resolution by the end of the story as the mother hopes that Emily is not the dress she is ironing; that is, she is not "helpless before the iron" (last para).

The major theme of the story is a search for understanding. During the entire story, the mother is searching for reasons why she is not close to her daughter. As she irons, a metaphor for trying to iron out her problems, she recounts her difficult life and the limited time she had to spend focused on her daughter because she had to earn a living. She is searching for answers about why her life turned out the way it did. As she irons, she begins to see that she allowed life and circumstances to shape her; she did not try to shape her own life. She was like the dress she is ironing. It just sits on the ironing board waiting to be pressed over. Her daughter, she hopes will realize ''that she is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the iron."

What is the central idea and purpose in "I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen?

The central idea of "I Stand Here Ironing" is the fragility of the mother-daughter relationship within the context of single motherhood.

The narrator highlights the central idea through a stream-of-consciousness, first-person narrative. She describes her feelings of ambivalence, frustration, guilt, and grief as she documents her turbulent relationship with her eldest child, Emily. According to the narrator, her husband was the one who left. This is how she became a single mother.

The narrator tells us that she had to begin taking Emily to preschool when she was just two years old. She uses colloquial, emotionally-charged language to describe how Emily tried to avoid attending preschool on many occasions. Her words inspire pity, as we envision what our protagonists must have endured. In our minds, we see the mother wracked with guilt, even as the daughter is tormented by fears of abandonment:

She always had a reason why we should stay home. Momma, you look sick. Momma, I feel sick. Momma, the teachers aren't here today, they're sick. Momma, we can't go, there was a fire there last night. Momma, it's a holiday today, no school, they told me.

But never a direct protest, never rebellion. I think of our others in their three-, four-year-oldness—the explosions, tempers, the denunciations, the demands—and I feel suddenly ill. I put the iron down. What in me demanded that goodness in her? And what was the cost, the cost to her of such goodness?

The narrator tells us that she secured financial stability at the cost of her daughter's emotional well-being.

As the story progresses, the narrator tells us that she eventually remarries. She bears her new husband four children. Yet the main focus of the narrator's story is still Emily: she fixates on Emily's sickly demeanor, battles with asthma, and struggles to maintain a healthy self-image. The narrator's tortuous, emotional narrative highlights her continued guilt about Emily's childhood.

What are the theme and summary of "I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen?

As the narrator, the mother in the story “I Stand Here Ironing” by Tillie Olsen is ask by someone to discuss her daughter Emily and ways that she can be helped.  The mother then reflects on the guilt that she feels toward the care of her oldest daughter. Life has never been quite right for Emily.  Consequently, the mother’s guilt and regret weigh on her unlike anything else.

Born during the Depression, Emily’s father ran away from the family when she was a baby.  Emily had to stay with the father’s family while the mother worked to get enough money to support the two of them.  Eventually, the mother remarries and things improve materially. 

One illness after another kept Emily from being a normal child. Having to spend time in a charity home during the measles and in daycares that are torturous all lead to Emily falling behind.  She also has debilitating asthma which means that she cannot play and run like the other children.  

Later in school, it is discovered that when Emily gets on a stage she is hilariously funny. Emily's life changes when she puts on a comedy act for a high school talent show. Suddenly, she is popular and appears at other schools with her act.

With her new husband, the mother has four more children.  While her husband is away during World War II, Emily helps her mother care for the younger children. Suddenly,the mother’s musings are interrupted when Emily comes home from school. She is hopeful that the person who wants to help Emily will help her build a better life.

THEME

The theme of the story concedes the impact of guilt and regret in a mother’s life.  The title of the story “I Stand Here Ironing” is a way of showing the defeat that the mother feels as she thinks back to the mistakes that she made with her first born child.

When Emily was a baby and the narrator was fighting poverty and terrible conditions for a single mother, she recognizes that she contributed to the inept young woman that Emily has become.  As she thinks back, her actions as a mother read like a list of villainous actions. The narrator does give herself credit for the difficulties that she faced;  but, she cannot forgive herself.

Because she was her first child, the mother seemed to hold Emily to a different standard.  She was expected to be good, endure whatever came her way, and show no resistance to the situation in which she found herself. That would have been hard for an adult, let alone a child.

Emily was alone in strange environments for periods of time.  She was a convalescence facility and stayed with her grandparents.  These were all during times of significant child and parental development. Every time she was allowed to return home, there was something different: a new husband, a new job, or a new baby. As time went by, Emily withdrew and grew more reserved.

Despite efforts to draw closer to Emily as she got older, the bridge had already collapsed.  They are ships that pass by in the night.  Each is aware of the other but too far away to communicate.  

Now when it is too late (as if she would let ne hold and comfort her like I do the others) I get up and go to her at once at her moan or restless stirring. ‘Are you awake, Emily? Can I get you something?’ And the answer is always the same: ‘No I'm all right, go back to sleep Mother.’

The narrator does not share what Emily’s present circumstances are, but it is evident that she wonders what will happen to her next. 

How does the mother in "I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen connect to society and the theme?

In "I Stand Here Ironing," there is an ambivalence of both environment and in completion of themes.  For instance, in the Search for Identity theme, the mother queries of the person who asks about her daughter,

You think because I am her mother I have a key, or that in some way you could use me as a key?  She has lived for nineteen years.  There is all that life that has happened outside of me, beyond me.

Yet, while she does not lay claim to many years, the mother tells this other person, "You did not know her all those years she was considered homely," thus indicating some knowledge of her child.

Both identities of mother and daughter are incomplete.  The mother is still ironing, running the iron back and forth just as she rewinds the memories in an effort to define herself as mother.  The daughter becomes someone only by pantomime, pretending to be someone other than she is.

Regarding another theme, Limitations and Opportunities, the mother feels a sense of guilt that she has not been able to provide for her daughter as she would have liked because of having to work so much after the abandonment of her husband.  When she remarries, she feels guilty because the daughter is neglected when new babies arrive.  In addition, the mother, trapped in her low socio-economic position--still ironing--cannot provide the opportunities that may foster her daughter's comedic career.

By the end of the story, there is an apparent apathy with the title again pointing to this theme.  Here, the mother performs this repetitious, dull activity in a mindless state, convinced of the dead end into which she has worked.  The daughter skips her exams in college, flippantly remarking, "in a couple of years when we'll all be atom-dead they won't matter a bit."

However, the story does not end on this apathetic note.  For, the mother reflects that although her daughter is a child of "her age, of depression, of war, of fear," she still has "enough left to live by....she is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the iron."

What is the theme of "I Stand Here Ironing"?

Written in the 1960s, this was one of the first stories to deal with the ambivalence of motherhood just after the age when motherhood and family were seen as a woman's highest goal and just before the feminist movement began to change the way women felt about themselves and their own identities. The narrator of the story obviously loves her daughter but doesn't seem to understand her. She has faced many other obstacles in her life (poverty, single parenthood) and somehow her relationship with her daughter got pushed out of the way. Now, when the girl is 19-years-old, the mother is frustrated that her relationship and understanding of her daughter is so limited. Women during that age were supposed to be motherly types, yet the narrator seems to both acknowledge and regret the fact that she put other things first. This explains the popularity of the story over 40 years after it was published because many women today face the same conflicts as the narrator.

What are some character-related topics from the mother/narrator's perspective in I Stand Here Ironing by Tillie Olsen?

The relationship between Emily and her mother is never straight-forward in I Stand Here Ironing by Tillie Olsen and will not be resolved, despite the mother's best efforts. "Can I get you something?" ... "No I'm all right, go back to sleep Mother" illustrates the ongoing conflict that Emily's mother, the narrator, feels and which she can never change.

Emily's apathy stems from a culmination of events and circumstances which, from a child's perspective, led to her withdrawal and indifference because "in a couple of years when we'll all be atom-dead they won't matter a bit." Emily is referring to her exams but it is understood to have far-reaching implications. Her mother does not have high expectations of Emily who, due to her mother's poor parenting skills "will not bloom." Although she does want Emily to understand that she has a far greater role in life and is more than "helpless before the iron," she cannot express herself sufficiently to make this clear to Emily and she contributes to Emily's poor self-esteem by comparing her to Susan and, unwittingly, setting her up for failure. 

It is characteristic of the mother to "let her be" which sentiment has caused conflicting interpretations, interpreted by some as an effort to trust Emily and have faith in her ability to make a future for herself but, based on what the reader has learned about the mother, it seems more to be about the mother's own lack of confidence and lack of belief in her own ability to have any positive effect on Emily.