Sabina is married to Alan, a safe and trusting man she appreciates and seems to love. However, he is so dull and unexciting that she feels she must pursue a collection of extramarital affairs. Although she feels strongly for Alan and her love is evident throughout the novel, the text focuses on the theme of love’s purpose. While loving and being loved is wonderful and comforting, it is not enough to keep a person fulfilled or heal their internal wounds and insecurities.

Sabina cares for Alan. She depends on his approval, his validation of her insecurities, and the paternalistic love he has for her. This enjoyment, however, cannot supersede the internal strife she constantly experiences. Her sense of self is warped and riddled with inaccuracies and insecurity. As such, she demands a level of frantic chaos and passion from her lovers, seeking external validation to prove to herself that she is as she wishes she was. Though she cares deeply for Alan, he cannot provide this for her. He is a comfort, and his love brings her home to him, but he cannot heal her fragmented heart. Philip, one of Sabina’s lovers, is in a similar situation. There is a woman he loves, but Sabina knows that when he longs for “fire,” he will return to her. 

Love, according to Nin, is not a perfect poultice. It is not an antidote for inner strife nor a replacement for personal fulfillment. Indeed, love must operate in tandem with such things, not despite them. 

Sabina’s relationships reveal different aspects of her attitude and motivation and respond to the idea that the self is a fractal. Her sense of self is fragmented and composed of various and often oppositional thoughts and feelings; it is not a homogeneous collection of unchanging qualities.

For example, Sabina enjoys the submissive role she takes in her marriage. She likes the comfort of being Alan’s “little one” and appreciates his protective instincts. Philip, however, satiates her desire to feel seductive, empowered, and unburdened by the weakness and frailty she often feels. With Jay, she is impulsive and fearless; with Donald, she is maternal and pure. The men in her life activate different parts of her being, and, as such, they never fully satisfy her. With them, she becomes one-dimensional. Although Sabina possesses all these qualities, she cannot do so all at once. She can embody each of these traits—and often desires to—but she does not know who she is and feels pulled in too many directions. 

The text consistently associates Sabina with fire, figuratively comparing her to its heat, danger, and desire to consume. Her presence is like that of a “fire engine” racing through the city; she is “aflame” with passion and longing; and she “burns” with desire. Despite this recurring metaphor, Sabina’s fiery motivations cause her to take unnecessary risks and make poor decisions, leading her to terrible guilt and pain. 

As the novel ends, Sabina sits in a friend’s apartment and cries, for she has realized the truth of who she is and why she acts as she does. As the narrator explains: "There was a complete dissolution of the eyes, features, as if she were losing her essence." Reconciling all one's fragmented parts into an accurate, cohesive image of the self is a dangerous and painful act; in so doing, Sabina has doused her fire. Instead of the figurative fire that once danced in her eyes, it is now literal water that floods them. Self-knowledge has not led her to fulfillment; it has led her to dissolution. Her loosely connected fragments have fallen apart in her hands and disintegrated before her eyes. In an attempt to heal her fragmentation, Sabina has annihilated herself.