Themes and Meanings

(Critical Guide to Poetry for Students)

Adrienne Rich wrote the poem over a period of two years when she herself was married to a Harvard economist and was a young mother with three children. Like the daughter-in-law in the poem, Rich lived within patriarchal structures that constrain a woman’s intellect. In the early 1960’s, white, middle-class, and educated women were expected to find men to marry and then be in the service of the American family. The speaker in the poem sees herself as a daughter-in-law, or as a person who exists in relation to other people and structures.

The conflict between the mother-in-law and the younger woman in the early part of the poem expresses the latter’s desire to break from the confining conventions. They are “two handsome women, gripped in argument,/ each proud, acute, subtle,” and “knowing themselves too well in one another” they provide the other with impetus to perceive differences in their entrapments: The mother-in-law’s outworn beauty and the daughter-in-law’s fertile intelligence are the main sources of their differences.

In part 6, the mother-in-law asks, “has Nature shown/ her household books to you, daughter-in-law,/ that her sons never saw?” The tone is contentious, but at heart, the older woman seems also to goad the younger woman onward in the latter’s intellectual quest, as though to say, it may be too late for me, but not yet for you. By part 9, the speaker is aware that the disagreements between women are...

(The entire section is 505 words.)