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Rules of the Game

by Amy Tan

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Waverly and Her Mother's Relationship Dynamics in "Rules of the Game"

Summary:

In Amy Tan's "Rules of the Game," the relationship between Waverly Jong and her mother, Lindo, is complex and marked by tension. Lindo's strict, traditional expectations create pressure on Waverly, particularly as she excels in chess. Chess symbolizes their conflict, reflecting strategic battles of will. Although both share Chinese heritage, Waverly's desire for independence clashes with her mother's control. Lindo's love is a double-edged sword, offering support but also overwhelming expectations, leading to internal and external conflicts.

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What is the relationship between Waverly Jong and her mother in "Rules of the Game"?

In Amy Tan’s short story “Rules of the Game,” Waverly Jung has a difficult relationship with her mother Lindo. Lindo has a lot of strict, traditional expectations for Waverly. However, Waverly’s mother feels that her methods of parenting are necessary to help her children given their socioeconomic context. Recall how Waverly says,

My mother imparted her daily truths so she could help my older brothers and me rise above our circumstances...I didn’t think we were poor.

So it is not that Lindo does not care about Waverly, but that her strict expectations escalate into a pressure that overwhelms Waverly and creates tension between the two of them. Tensions really begin to escalate when Waverly begins to succeed at chess.

Lindo is proud of her daughter’s success, but to the point where Waverly feels a bit used. Consider how her mother would make Waverly walk to the market...

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with her on Saturday so she could introduce her to people as her daughter. Lindo also becomes so involved in Waverly’s chess career that it makes Waverly feel tense and overwhelmed. For instance, Waverly explains,

My mother had a habit of standing over me while I plotted out my games. I think she thought of herself as my protective ally. Her lips would be sealed tight, and after each move I made, a soft "Hmmmmph" would escape from her nose. "Ma, I can't practice when you stand there like that," I said one day.

This quote really shows the complexity of their relationship. Her mother thought of her overbearing presence as "protective," while Waverly saw it as unbearable and stressful.

Another noteworthy passage that demonstrates what their relationship is like occurs when Waverly becomes so overwhelmed that she bursts out her true feelings:

I knew it was a mistake to say anything more, but I heard my voice speaking, "Why do you have to use me to show off? If you want to show off, then why don't you learn to play chess?”

This outburst brings some concrete honesty into Waverly’s relationship with her mother. But it also escalates the tension in their relationship to a breaking point. When Waverly finally faces her mother again after saying this, she knows that she is in tremendous trouble and wonders where to go from here. In the end, she faces her mother as an “opponent,” suggesting that they will each need to use strategic strategies of communication to argue for what they want and maintain a relationship.

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The relationship between Waverly and her mother is a complex one.  Moreover, the relationship develops as the story progresses.  And finally there is no resolution. 

In the beginning of the story, Waverly is a under her mother.  Her mother navigates her life.  She also teaches her about matters such as the art of invisible strength, which is something that allows people to win arguments and win respect from others. 

As the story progresses, Waverly discovers that she has a gift to play chess.  She excels to the point of being recognized nationally.  Some even say that she might be the first female grandmaster.  This new fame and recognition makes Waverly and her mother proud. Waverly also wants to break free from her mother. There is a yearning for independence in her heart. 

The problem is that Waverly's mother does not want to let Waverly go.  For example, she loves goes to the market with Waverly and tell others that this is her daughter.  This makes Waverly feel uncomfortable. So, she runs away after a conflict. 

In the end, Waverly comes back home to a furious mother.  Both do not know what to do, and the story ends. In light of this, we can say that Waverly and her mother are redefining their relationship. 

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How does chess symbolize the conflict between Waverly and her mother in "Rules of the Game"?

As chess is a game of strategy, so is the contest of wills between Waverly and her mother. Mrs. Jong utilizes her own rules to repress her daughter's stubborn temperament, while Waverly resorts to passive-aggressive rebellion to mitigate the suffocating effects of her mother's expectations.

At the beginning of the story, Mrs. Jong tells Waverly that 'strongest wind cannot be seen.' Her belief in this principle underlines all her interactions with her daughter. She always seems to stay one step ahead of the hapless Waverly, effortlessly deflecting all her adolescent protestations. As a traditional mother, Mrs. Jong expects Waverly to obey her without question and to respect her judgment in all matters pertaining to Waverly's future. However, after having tasted the delicious independence modern American culture affords even young adolescents, Waverly is dissatisfied with the status quo.

She plots to protect every inch of her autonomy and agency in light of her mother's machinations to make her into a quintessentially obedient Chinese daughter. Unknown to Waverly, she has actually learned the 'rules of the game' from her own mother. Waverly plots silently and broodingly in her room after the embarrassing confrontation with her mother on market day. Her goal is to defeat her mother's will systematically and stealthily, using the same methods her mother has taught her about vanquishing enemies.

Her black men advanced across the plane, slowly marching to each successive level as a single unit. My white pieces screamed as they scurried and fell off the board one by one. As her men drew closer to my edge, I felt myself growing light. I rose up into the air and flew out the window. Higher and higher, above the alley, over the tops of tiled roofs, where I was gathered up by the wind and pushed up toward the night sky until everything below me disappeared and I was alone. I closed my eyes and pondered my next move.

It is clear that Waverly views the psychological and emotional conflict with her mother as a game; since each party must make carefully planned, succeeding moves to accomplish the defeat of the other, the game of chess is an appropriate metaphor for the contest of wills between Waverly and Mrs. Jong. Neither discloses her motives in the contest, but each secretly plans to subvert the other's will through potentially devastating emotional maneuvers.

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In "The Rules of the Game," how do Waverly and her mother differ and resemble each other?

Although this excellent short story primarily concerns the conflict between a first generation Chinese immigrant to the United States and her daughter, who is born in the United States and therefore has a very different experience of migrancy from her mother, there are actually a number of similarities between Waverly and her mother. Mostly these are based around their shared Chinese heritage and the way that this comes to be a force of strength for both of them. Both of them come to be defined by the various bits of Chinese lore and culture that identify them. Consider the lesson that Waverly is taught by her mother at the beginning of the story:

Wise guy, he not go against wind. In Chinese we say, Come from South, blow with wind--poom!--North will follow. Strongest wind cannot be seen.

This is a philosophy that both characters use and in particular Waverly adopts this to ensure success in her chess matches. In addition, both characters show incredible independence and resilience in learning the "rules" of the various games that they play. Waverly's mother has been forced to learn the rules of immigration, just as Waverly herself learns how to play chess.

However, in spite of the similarities based around a similar Chinese heritage, these two characters are defined more by their differences than by their similarities. In particular, Waverly feels mortified and embarrassed by the way in which her mother shows off her daughter and takes the credit for her succes:

My mother would proudly walk with me, visiting many shops, buying very little. "This my daughter Wave-ly Jong," she said to whoever looked her way.

This is the central point of conflict between the mother and Waverly, as Waverly asks her mother to stop behaving like this: "Why do you have to use me to show off? If you want to show off, then why don't you learn to play chess?" In the struggle for Waverly to develop into her own individual person and establish her identity, she feels her mother is a force against which she must struggle, which is dramatically presented in the dream Waverly has at the end of the story.

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This is a great question.  In the story Waverly matures.  At first she is under the  care of her mother in a direct way.  In the opening lines of the story, her mother teaches her the art of invisible strength, the ability to win arguments and respect from others. 

As the story progresses, Waverly learns.  In fact, she uses what she has learned in the game of chess.  She becomes so successful that she becomes a national sensation. The story even suggests that she might be a chess grandmaster.  

They ran a photo of me in Life magazine next to a quote in which Bobby Fischer said, "There will never be a woman grand master." "Your move, Bobby," said the caption.

Towards the end of the story, Waverly's mother has not changed. She still views Waverly as her little daughter.  So, when they go to the marketplace, she says "This is Waverly, my daughter, the chess champion."  The problem is that Waverly has changed.   She wants more independence. She is her own person.  Therefore, conflict ensues. 

From this perspective, Waverly struggles with breaking free and being her own person.  Her mother, on the other hand, does not want change.  The story ends without a resolution. 

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How does Waverly's mother's love act as a double-edged sword in "Rules of the Game"?

Although there's little doubt that Waverly's mother Lindo loves her daughter, she has a funny way of showing it at times. Lindo's got it into her head that Waverly can and will become a child chess prodigy. To that end, she heaps a lot of pressure on Waverly's young shoulders, forcing her to practice for hours each day as part of her grand plan to see Waverly become a big success.

Even if one concedes that Lindo's plan is based on love for her daughter, it's a love that threatens to destroy her. For it soon becomes clear that Waverly finds it difficult to cope with the immense weight of expectation put upon her. Eventually, she runs away from home, but soon returns when she realizes that she has no place else to go. When she comes back home, she's immediately given the silent treatment by her mother, who acts as if she isn't there.

At the same time, one could argue that by teaching Waverly the power of “invisible strength,” she's actually defending her daughter from a harsh, uncertain world. Lindo knows from personal experience just how hard life can be, and she wants her daughter to have the strength to deal with life's many trials and tribulations. It may seem like a funny way of showing love, but there's every reason to believe that Lindo's methods of child rearing are nonetheless steeped in love, even if it is tough love.

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A parent’s love certainly has the power to both defend and destroy a child.

In the story, the mother clearly loves her daughter. Daily, she shares tidbits of generational wisdom with her daughter. Waverly tells us that her mother is always focused on the future.

My mother imparted her daily truths, so she could help my older brothers and me rise above our circumstances.

To Waverly's mother, success is not dependent on luck. As such, wisdom must be cultivated and used as a tool to engineer one's success in life.

When Waverly's brother receives a used chess set for Christmas, Waverly becomes curious about this foreign Western game. She inquires about its rules, but Vincent (her brother) has little patience for her inquisitive questions.

Waverley's mother encourages her to learn the rules for herself. This is how Waverly comes to excel at chess.

I learned about opening moves and why it's important to control the center early on . . . I learned about the middle game and why tactics between two adversaries are like clashing ideas; the one who plays better has the clearest plans for both attacking and getting out of traps. I learned why it is essential in the endgame to have foresight, a mathematical understanding of all possible moves, and patience; all weaknesses and advantages become evident to a strong adversary and are obscured to a tiring opponent. I discovered that for the whole game one must gather invisible strengths and see the endgame before the game begins.

Seeing her natural propensity for the game, Waverly's mother supports her as she gains new skills. She even defends Waverly when her brothers complain about having to do their sister's chores.

"Is new American rules," said my mother. "Meimei play, squeeze all her brains out for win chess. You play, worth squeeze towel."

By her ninth birthday, Waverly is a national chess champion. Her mother is justifiably proud of her, but a new conflict soon arises. For her part, Waverly resents being used as a means for her mother to "show off." She feels pressured to perform in order to keep her mother's approval. Before she knows it, Waverly begins to apply her recently acquired chess skills to life. She leverages the strategies she has carefully honed to prevail in a power struggle against her mother. This sets up a bitter rivalry between the two.

Even though Waverly's mother initially acts out of love, her obsession with status and success destroys the positive feelings between her and her daughter. Waverly comes to resent the pressure put upon her to excel. She no longer sees her mother's efforts on her behalf as loving actions. Instead of focusing on improving her chess skills and, thus, her prospects for the future, Waverly becomes preoccupied with retaliatory thoughts against her mother. In this way, a mother's love has the power to both defend and destroy her child.

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How does Waverly's mother react to her admirers in "Rules of the Game?"

Waverly’s mother told her admirers in the park that her winning was luck.

Waverly was thrilled when her family got a chess set for Christmas from a charity.  At first her mother did not want it.  It was a waste of time, and it was obviously used, since some of the pieces were missing.  They didn’t even really know how to play.  Waverly was fascinated though, and she soon became very, very good.

One day, Waverly stops by the park where a group of old men are playing chess.  She meets a man named Lau Po who teaches her more about chess, and she picks up “new secrets.”  She also learns about chess etiquette and how to not be a sore loser.  He teaches her all he knows.  Eventually, she is winning every game.

It does not take long before she has gathered a crowd of onlookers in the park to watch her play.

       A small weekend crowd of Chinese people and tourists would gather as I played and defeated my opponents one by one. My mother would join the crowds during these outdoor exhibition games. She sat proudly on the bench, telling my admirers with proper Chinese humility, "Is luck."

Although this may seem cruel, it is her mother’s strategy.  She does not want her daughter to get a big head.  Waverly does say her mother is proud.  It is, as Waverly says, "proper" to say that winning is luck, to show she is humble.  You do not be too proud.  You are expected to win. 

Her mother always wants more and more from her.  She wants fewer pieces lost when she does win.  Her mother agrees to put her in a tournament, even though if she loses, it will bring shame to her family.  Waverly wants to compete in that tournament.  She is enjoying chess, and she needs a bigger challenge.

The fact that Waverly's mother tells her admirers that her daughter's winning is nothing but luck does not mean she believes that, or that she does not believe that her daughter is talented.  She is behaving the way she is expected to, and saying what they expect her to say.  She is also trying to teach her daughter how to behave properly, with humility, and remind her that there is always more winning ahead.

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How does Waverly's imaginary chess game with her mother reflect her life?

The ending game between Waverly and her mother is significant for a couple of reasons.  The first would be that Waverly's mother crushes Waverly. This helps to explain how the mother holds power over her daughter.  Interestingly enough, Waverly tries to assert power over her mother in rebuking her, criticizing her in public.  Yet, when Waverly realizes what she has done, it is a moment in which power has settled with the mother.  Waverly realizes that the chess game with her mother represents her losing of power with her mother.  When Waverly recognizes that the chess game at the end of the story is one in which she loses, it is significant because it reflects the basic element of how power is constructed between mothers and daughters in the "Eastern" sensibilities.  The chess game is reflective of how there is going to be a "muddle" in the relationships between mothers and daughters when the weight of cultural expectations is placed upon the younger generations from the older ones.  There is an emotional weight that creates a challenging paradigm for children.  Speaking one's voice is seen as a form of disrespect, but yet remaining silent is one in which voice and personal choice is absent.  In this, the chess game at the end of the story becomes significant.

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What are the internal and external conflicts between Waverly and her mother in "Rules of the Game"?

Th external conflict between Waverley and her mother lies in the way the latter often tries to control her daughter's actions. A great example of external conflict can be seen when Waverley practices her chess moves at home. Without fail, both mother and daughter often end up arguing about the game. While Waverley sees the benefit of incorporating hers and Lau Po's chess strategies, her mother approaches the game differently.

As she wiped each piece with a soft cloth, she said, "Next time win more, lose less." "Ma, it's not how many pieces you lose," I said. "Sometimes you need to lose pieces to get ahead." "Better to lose less, see if you really need."

At the next tournament, I won again, but it was my mother who wore the triumphant grin. "Lost eight piece this time. Last time was eleven. What I tell you? Better off lose less!" I was annoyed, but I couldn't say anything.

But I found it difficult to concentrate at home. My mother had a habit of standing over me while I plotted out my games. I think she thought of herself as my protective ally. Her lips would be sealed tight, and after each move I made, a soft "Hmmmmph" would escape from her nose.

Waverley's mother insists that losing less pieces will result in a stronger victory for Waverley; the latter disagrees. In the meantime, the mother hovers, while the daughter tries to fend her off. So, there is this unrelenting conflict between Waverley and her mother in the sense that their game strategies are diametrically opposed.

Interestingly, this external conflict exposes the internal conflict between the two. Both Waverley and her mother entertain different philosophies about life. As the parent, Waverley's mother believes that she knows best, and she expects her daughter to demonstrate her respect through external compliance as well as internal assent to her dictates.

However, Waverley wants to chart her own path in life; she resents being forced to act the role of the traditional Chinese daughter. When Waverley's mother proudly introduces her to everyone they meet one market day, Waverley loses her temper. She accuses her mother of using her to "show off." For her part, the older woman is aghast at her daughter's seeming ungratefulness and unfilial behavior. After investing her time and resources on her daughter, Waverley's mother believes that she deserves bragging rights for having raised such a talented daughter.

However, Waverley sees otherwise. By the end of the story, Waverley comes to understand that, if she wants to win the internal and external conflict with her mother, she must learn to harness the strategy of "invisible strength" in the game of chess as well as in the game of life.

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In "Rules of the Game," what are Waverly's mother's characteristics?

Waverly's mother is an interesting figure.  She is proud, ambitious, and family orient. 

First, she is proud.  She is proud of her daughter.  When she finds out that Waverly has a gift to play chess, she is filled with pride. When Waverly gains national recognition, she loves walking around the marketplace telling others that this is Waverly, the chess champion.  As immigrants to a new country, what Waverly has achieved, is an accomplishment. 

Second, Waverly's mother is ambitious. From the beginning of the story, Waverly's mother tries to teach her daughter the art of invisible strength, the ability to win arguments and respect from others.  This shows that Waverly's mother is ambitious to succeed.  She is a fighter who wants to get ahead. 

Finally, Waverly's mother is family oriented.  As a traditional Chinese mother, she upholds the family more than the individual. In other words, the individualistic world of America is not something that she is familiar with.  So, when Waverly seeks to break free, she is offended. 

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In "Rules of the Game," what does Waverly's mother want for her children?

She simply wants what most parents desire for their children--success and happiness--and as an immigrant from China, she believes that America is the only place where that is possible for her children.

Yes, her perspective might be flawed, such as her putting intense pressure on Waverly to learn chess seemingly so that she can brag about her daughter, but in reality, she is just like any other proud mother who wants her daughter to feel successful.  America, for Waverly's mother, represents so much in the way of opportunity that her mother views wasting any of that opportunity to hone one's skills or to develop new skills as unacceptable.

In addition to her very typical maternal goals for her children, Waverly's mother wants them to assimilate into American culture, something that she does not feel that she has done or will ever be able to do.  Her comment to Waverly about the chess rulebook demonstrate this desire.  She tells Waverly and her brothers:

" 'Every time people come out from foreign country, must know rules. You not know, judge say, Too bad, go back.' "

Her statement reveals the only difficulty she experienced as an immigrant with no source of help or advice and also shows why she is so concerned about her children finding their own place in America.

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In "Rules of the Game," what is Waverly's struggle with her mother about?

When Waverly challenges her mother in "Rules of the Game," she wants some degree of independence. Playing chess allows Waverly to have her own room, separate from her brothers, and she also gets out of eating all her rice if she doesn't feel like it. When her mother goes around Chinatown introducing Waverly as her daughter, Waverly tells her to stop doing so. It's clear that Waverly wants to claim all the credit for her chess prowess as her own so that she can become more independent from her mother. 

In addition, Waverly wants to beat her mother at her own game. She says in the story's first line, "I was six when my mother taught me the art of invisible strength." Her mother teaches her to hide what she wants and that the "strongest wind cannot be seen." As Waverly improves her chess skills, she is developing this invisible strength to challenge her mother, just as her mother has taught her. She uses this strength to try to defeat her mother at her own game and to win some degree of freedom from her mother. Her mother also wants to use this invisible strength to control her daughter, and in this way they are similar.  

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Waverly wants what all kids want: some independence from Lindo. Waverly believes that her skill in chess is all her own, not her mother's coaching. Lindo, doesn't see it this way. She is passing down what she has learned; that you must intuitively learn your life lessons like she did. Both of them are stubborn and devious. They carefully plan out their next move to ensure they have the best outcome.

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In "Rules of the Game" by Amy Tan, why is Waverly's mother viewed as her opponent?

The extended metaphor of life being compared to chess is evident throughout the story, "Rules of the Game." While Waverly is on one side of this metaphorical chessboard, her mother is on the other end. This is made clear by the last paragraph of the story:

"Her black men advanced across the plane, slowly marching to each successive level as a single unit. My white pieces screamed as they scurried and fell off the board one by one."

While Amy Tan clarifies this metaphor here, it's evident throughout the story as mother and daughter continue to battle for supremacy in a world foreign to one and native to the other.

In the first instance in which chess is mentioned, the mother calls the rules of that particular game, "This American rules. ... Every time people come out from foreign country, must know rules." In this new world, Waverly's mother suggests about moves in chess, "Better you take it, find out why yourself."

Meanwhile, Waverly has a desire to learn the rules, becoming obsessed with the pawns inability to attack. In addition, she joins an American chess tournament, which is against her mother's wishes because "They would have American rules. If I lost, I would bring shame on my family."

These contrasting desires, Waverly's to play by the written rules of America and her mother's to learn the rules for herself, put the two at odds throughout the story. They truly are opponents.

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What is Waverly's attitude towards her mother's behavior in The Rules of the Game?

Waverly's attitude towards her mother changes. At first, her attitude is one of a typical child. She loves her mother and all is well. There is nothing noteworthy. Things begin to change, however, when Waverly masters chess. 

As she begins playing chess, she quickly learns the rules of the game, and she excels. In fact, she begins winning every tournament. She even makes it onto the pages of Life Magazine. Understandably, Waverly's mother becomes proud. When they are at the market together, she boasts of her daughter. Waverly at this point loses it. She is incensed, as she feels exploited. So she runs away for a while and comes back home in fear. At this point, we can say that her attitude towards her mother is one of anger. 

Finally, as Waverly lies in bed, she sees her relationship with her mother as a chess game. She in pondering her next move. At this point, her mother is an adversary. 

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What type of daughter is Waverly in "Rules of the Game"?

I am sure that there will be many opinions, but I would say that Waverly is an apt pupil of a daughter.  She learns well and excels.  What Waverly's mother wanted to teach her, she learns so well that at the end of the story she challenges her mother.  From this perspective, Waverly is a daughter who is like her mother. 

In the beginning of the story, we see that Waverly's mother is trying to teach her the art of invisible strength, which is defined as a way to win arguments and respect from others.  As the story progresses, Waverly uses this idea in the game of chess.  She excels to the point of becoming a national sensation.  By the end of the story, Waverly and her mother get into conflict partially owning to cultural differences.

In one particular argument, Waverly runs away.  When she comes back home, she knows that she will have to face her mother. Her mother says these words:"We not concerning this girl. This girl not have concerning for us."

Waverly knows it is her move.  So, she is in her bed to ponder what she will do next. 

Based on the narrative of the  story, Waverly is a daughter that wants freedom and independence, and she will use what she learned from her mother. 

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What are the rules in Amy Tan's "Rules of the Game" and how do they relate to Waverly and her mother?

You have identified one of the many master touches about this short story. The title itself operates on many different levels and is clearly relevant to the struggle that is ongoing between Waverly and her mother. You need to remember that this short story in essence is about the desire for independence and the right to live your own life. Waverly, as someone who is born and bred in the United States, has very different values and beliefs from her mother, who was born and bred in China and emigrated later on in her life. What we see in this story is the "Rules of the Game" that Waverly is playing in her effort to achieve independence.

However, there are other rules as well. You may wish to consider the rules of Santa Claus about being a good girl, the rules of chess, the American rules and procedures and the rules of chess etiquette. For me, one of the most striking set of rules are those that Waverly and her family have had to learn very quickly in order to operate:

"This American rules," she concluded at last. "Every time people come out from foreign country, must know rules. You not know, judge say, Too bad, go back. They not telling you why so you can use their way go forward. They say, Don't know why, you find out yourself. But they knowing all the time. Better you take it, find out why yourself." She tossed her head back with a satisfied smile.

This in a sense captures both the immense struggle it must be for immigrants to settle in the United States but also the rules of the game that operate in Waverly's family. She is forced to discover the rules by trial and error in just the same way that her mother has had to learn the rules of immigration and American life. The ending of the story clearly displays that Waverly has to learn to live within the restrictions of her mother's rules - her dream at the end of the story where she imagines playing a game of chess against her mother, who is personified as "two angry black slits", clearly shows that she has "lost" this game of achieving independence for now, but the last line clearly states that the overall game is not over yet:

I closed my eyes and pondered my next move.

The cool and calculating Waverly that we have seen playing chess is not going to be defeated by a setback, however major, and we can see her determination to continue playing the game and fighting in her attempt to break free from her mother.

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How do Waverly and her mother differ in "Rules of the Game"?

Waverly is the product of two cultures. She was born in the United States and even named after the street she was born on, symbolizing her roots in a new society. However, she is also deeply influenced by her immigrant parents' Chinese culture.

Waverly attends American schools and speaks English fluently. American cultural norms, such as individualism and outspokenness, seem much more natural to her than they do to her mother.

For her mother, who arrived in the US relatively late in life as an adult, American culture will always seem alien. She clings to the Chinese norms she grew up with as superior. She teaches Waverly, for example, the Chinese concept of "invisible strength," which, like the wind, is invisible. She also expects Waverly to accept unthinkingly such Chinese cultural norms of putting the group—the family—ahead of the individual. For this reason, she sees Waverly's ability as a chess champion not as an individual accomplishment but as a source of family pride which she can appropriate.

Caught between two cultures, Waverly uses the wisdom of invisible strength she learns from her mother to help her win chess matches, but she also rebels against her mother's owning of her achievements as a communal accomplishment. The mother and daughter come into conflict and misunderstand each other because Waverly is looking at the world through two different lenses, while her mother is looking at it though only one.

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How does Waverly's mother influence her children's lives in "Rules of the Game"?

There is no doubt that Mrs. Jong tried to influence her children.  From the beginning of the story, Waverly stated that her mother taught her the art of invisible strength, which was supposed to help win arguments and win respect from people.  Waverly was six years old.  This shows us that Mrs. Jong took interest right away. 

Here is another example.  Waverly also recounts a story of when she threw a temper tantrum at the market when she wanted salted plums.  Her mother scolded her and told her to bite back her tongue.  Later when Waverly was at the same store and wanted the same thing (plums) and did not throw a tantrum, her mother bought her the plums. 

When Waverly started to play chess, Mrs. Jong supported her.  She made her a dress, gave her a good luck charm, took away her chores, and much more.  All of this shows that she wanted to help and influence her children.

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How does the mother influence Waverly in "Rules of the Game?"

This is a great question. 

Waverly's mother in the story is always present, even when she is not. In the beginning of the story, Waverly states that her mother taught her the art of invisible strength. She defined this as:

It was a strategy for winning arguments, respect from others, and eventually, though neither of us knew it at the time, chess games.

From this perspective, we can say that Waverly's mother was her first teacher, who taught her a very valuable lesson about life and how to succeed. She made her a more accomplished person in chess and in life in general. 

As the story progresses, Waverly wanted more freedom, especially freedom from her mother. So, naturally conflict ensued. When this happened, Waverly began to see her mother as a potential opponent. From this perspective, we can say that as Waverly grew older, she began to see her mother as an opponent. This, too, had an effect on Waverly. Would she exceed her "master"?

Her black men advanced across the plane, slowly marching to each successive level as a single unit. My white pieces screamed as they scurried and fell off the board one by one. As her men drew closer to my edge, I felt myself growing light. I rose up into the air and flew out the window. Higher and higher, above the alley, over the tops of tiled roofs, where I was gathered up by the wind and pushed up toward the night sky until everything below me disappeared and I was alone.

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How does Waverly's mother's love act as both destructive and protective?

Waverly’s mother, Mrs. Jong, is an interesting figure. On the one hand, she supports Waverly in amazing ways. On the other hand, she also exasperates her. In this way, we can say that a mother’s loves (or parent’s love) can both defend and destroy.

When Waverly becomes better at chess, Waverly’s mother supports her in amazing ways. For example, Waverly no longer has to do the dishes. Her brothers absorb these chores. Later when Waverly complains that her room is too noisy to concentrate, Mrs. Jong moves her brothers into the living room. All of this shows Mrs. Jong’s support.

Mrs. Jong also, perhaps without knowing it, exasperates her daughter.   She looks over her shoulder while Waverly is practicing.  She gives advice to Waverly without knowing much about the game.  And most of all, she insists that Waverly come with her to the market place, just to show off.  Waverly even remarks that Mrs. Jong buys little and talks much.  Mrs. Jong loves saying: “This is my daughter, Waverly.” This makes Waverly resentful. Waverly expresses her frustration and when her mother gives her “sharp silence,” she runs away.

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What are Waverly's characteristics in "Rules of the Game"?

There is a good character analysis here: http://www.enotes.com/rules-game/31773

But briefly, Waverly is the narrator, she grows up being better at Chess than anyone else. At first, this brings her joy, but the constant battles with her mother make it difficult for her. Waverly is stubborn.

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