Chapter 3 Summary
Following his initial sexual experience, Stephen begins to seek out prostitutes regularly. He has difficulty concentrating at school, instead thinking about food, sleep, and sex. He begins to worry that by indulging in the “sin of lust,” his body and mind are now being tainted by other sins, such as gluttony and sloth. Soon after Stephen’s fears regarding his own sinfulness begin to emerge, the rector of Belvedere College announces that the students will be embarking on a retreat in honor of Saint Francis Xavier. Stephen is filled with dread and anxiety at the prospect.
As the retreat begins, a priest greets the boys. He speaks to the virtues of occasionally removing oneself from the rituals of daily life and instead taking the time to reflect on religious matters. The retreat, he hopes, will help the boys achieve spiritual clarity while learning about the “four last things”: death, judgment, heaven, and hell. Stephen’s anxiety increases, and he begins to feel disgusted with his own perceived sinfulness.
Over the next several days, Stephen is deeply impacted by the sermons delivered at the retreat. He begins to reflect on his lifestyle and fears the judgment that the Christian god will have for him upon his death. He is particularly impacted by the graphic depictions of the hell that awaits those who live sinfully in life, and he recognizes that his current behavior is likely to result in damnation. The priests urge the boys to repent, and Stephen decides that he must do so in order to save his own soul. However, he is reluctant to confess at the school chapel.
The night after the retreat ends, Stephen has a nightmare about his own personal hell, and he leaves his room to walk the streets in an agitated state. He asks an elderly woman for directions to the nearest church. Although he is nervous, he forces himself to walk inside and confess to a priest. He begins by recounting his smaller sins and eventually admits to his dalliances with the prostitutes. The priest offers him forgiveness, and Stephen leaves feeling rejuvenated. He takes the sacrament alongside his classmates the next morning, resolving himself to live a life of grace going forward.
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