In the first chapter of Paul Zindel's The Pigman, John is the narrator and he is typing on a typewriter in the school's library. He introduces himself by giving examples of rebellious things that he has done in school. The first example is being the Bathroom Bomber. He claims to have set off twenty-three bathroom bombs, but now he is bored with that. His next high school claim to fame is organizing what he calls "fruit rolls." This is when he gets every kid to buy an old apple at lunch on Wednesdays to roll at substitute teachers during the next class period. Ironically, he says the following right before writing on the desk before him:

"But I gave up all that kid stuff now that I'm a sophomore. The only thing I do now that is faintly criminal is write on desks. Like right this minute I feel like writing something on the nice polished table here. . ." (6).

John does a lot worse than writing on desks for sure. He's a liar, smoker, drinker, partier, and a swindler. The way he and Lorraine get to know Mr. Pignati is because he cons the poor man out of $10.00 by claiming he and Lorraine work for charity. On the other hand, John is also a pretty funny guy and he writes the following on the library desk:

"HELP ME!!! A rotten science teacher has given me a drug to change me into a teeny weeny mosquito. . . Please help me. . . Please help me" (6).