Grief and Sorrow
A central theme in Ordinary People is the grief experienced after losing a loved one. Beth, Cal, and Con each grapple with Buck's tragic accident, turning inward and creating familial tensions. Con eventually comes to terms with his guilt, allowing himself to mourn Buck and understand that he is not to blame. His path to mental wellness is contrasted with Beth, who never manages to confront her grief. Instead, she refuses to accept the reality of their situation, accusing others of changing without recognizing the irreversible changes in their lives. Cal's mourning for Buck triggers an internal struggle with his identity and his relationships with Beth and Con, as the tragedy has shattered his once orderly life. Buck's carefree nature and zest for life make his absence even more difficult for the family to accept, as his vibrant spirit led everyone to believe he would live a long life. Only when the family acknowledges that there's no rational explanation for Buck's death, nor any lesson to be gleaned from it, can they truly begin to grieve.
Atonement and Forgiveness
The theme of atonement and forgiveness is intricately tied to the themes of death and grief. Con is overwhelmed by survivor's guilt after Buck's death, believing he should have died instead. Despite repeatedly apologizing for the boating accident that took Buck's life, Con never apologizes for his suicide attempt. Beth and Cal also grapple with the challenge of forgiving Con, while Con struggles to forgive them. Con comes to understand that although his mother hasn't forgiven him, his own anger towards her reveals his inability to forgive her and accept her limitations. Cal's acceptance of Beth's limitations is a significant step for him, but Beth is unable to do the same.
During an argument in Texas, Beth tells Cal that she will never forgive Con for the "bloody, vicious thing" he did, which she perceives as Con's way of punishing her. Beth's inability to forgive prevents any chance of reconciliation with Con. Unlike Beth, Cal only becomes fully aware of his anger towards Con at the novel's end, when he recalls that Con never apologized for his suicide attempt. Cal acknowledges that Con's actions deeply affected Beth, and he permits himself to feel anger towards Con. Con responds positively, relieved that his father is no longer excessively protective, which ultimately leads to a resolution in their father-son relationship.
Alienation and Loneliness
Con's feelings of alienation and loneliness after leaving the mental hospital are evident from the start of the story. He struggles to communicate with friends, teachers, and family, while battling depression and anxiety. In contrast, Cal's sense of isolation is not as immediately noticeable but becomes clearer as the narrative unfolds. He feels detached from those who share his grief and those who do not. Beth, the person most likely to comprehend his suffering, is unable to listen to his emotions or express her own. Throughout the story, Cal is deeply affected by the power of language to convey emotions and the contamination that comes from interacting with others. He often turns to excessive drinking to navigate social situations, and his efforts to connect with Beth are consistently rejected. Con, on the other hand, experiences improvement: his interactions with Dr. Berger and Jeannine enable him to open up, trust others, and communicate more effectively. Their support helps Con to forge stronger connections with people and alleviate his sense of isolation.
Identity
The themes of alienation and loneliness are closely tied to the quest for identity. Buck's death compels both Cal and Con to reflect on their own lives. They each feel overshadowed—Con by Buck and Cal by...
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everyone around him. Con admired Buck and tried to emulate him, but Buck's death forces Con to forge his own identity. Berger points out that Con's struggle to live up to Buck's legacy led to his suicide attempt, and much of Con's time with Berger is spent trying to discover who he truly is. Despite Berger's reassurances that Con already knows himself, Con's efforts to conceal his emotions also suppress his identity. It is only when Con begins to express his emotions that he starts to grasp his true self.
Similarly, Cal is hindered from expressing his emotions; his inability to connect with Beth prompts him to explore his own needs and, consequently, his identity. Both men are compelled by circumstances to redefine themselves, as the roles they once played in the family dissolved after Buck's passing. Beth's unwillingness to acknowledge the changes in their family life leads her to escape rather than transform, highlighting the necessity of adapting one's self-perception in challenging situations.
Psychology and Emotional Expression
Psychology is central to the novel, as the young character Conrad Jarrett learns to express his emotions rather than suppress them, with the help of a psychiatrist. In contrast, his mother Beth's refusal to face her emotions results in her decision to leave her husband, Cal, and her son. Guest has received significant acclaim for her deep understanding of the emotions and experiences of her teenage male protagonist, Conrad.
Grief and Loss
The main theme of Ordinary People revolves around the grief stemming from the death of a loved one. As Beth, Cal, and Con grapple with Buck's tragic accident, they become introspective, leading to family tensions. Con only begins to truly grieve for Buck and understand that he is not to blame once he reconciles with his own guilt.
Con's path to mental wellness is juxtaposed with Beth's inability to manage her grief. Beth struggles to accept the reality of the situation, blaming others for changing instead of recognizing that their lives have been irreversibly altered. Cal's mourning for Buck prompts him to question his identity and his relationships with Beth and Con, as the tragedy has disrupted his meticulously structured life. Buck's lively spirit and belief in his own invincibility made his death particularly difficult for the family to accept. It is only when the family members acknowledge that Buck's loss has no clear explanation and offers no lesson that they can start to heal and mourn properly.
Identity and Alienation
The themes of alienation and loneliness are closely tied to the quest for identity. Buck's passing compels both Cal and Con to reassess their lives. Each feels overshadowed by others—Con by Buck, and Cal by everyone around him. Con admired Buck and tried to emulate him, but after Buck's death, he must forge his own identity. Dr. Berger points out that Con's struggle to live up to Buck's legacy is the root of his suicide attempt. Con spends a significant amount of time with Berger, seeking to understand who he truly is. Berger consistently tells Con that he already knows himself, but in his effort to conceal his emotions, Con also suppresses his identity. It is only when Con begins to express his emotions that he starts to realize who he really is. Meanwhile, Cal is also hindered from expressing his feelings; his inability to connect with Beth forces him to explore his own needs, thereby discovering his identity. Unlike Con, Cal's sense of alienation is not immediately evident but becomes more pronounced as the narrative unfolds. Cal feels detached from both those who share his sorrow and those who do not. The person most capable of understanding his pain, Beth, is unable to listen to his feelings or express her own. Throughout the story, Cal is struck by how language can convey emotions and how interaction with others can lead to contamination. He navigates most social situations by drinking excessively. Circumstances compel both men to redefine their identities, as the roles they once held within the family dissolve with Buck's death. Beth's refusal to acknowledge the family's changed reality leads her to escape rather than transform herself, highlighting the necessity of adapting one's self-perception in response to challenging situations.
