Describe Conrad Jarrett's emotional development in Ordinary People.

In the beginning of Ordinary People by Judith Guest, Conrad Jarrett is a teenager struggling with depression and haunted by the accidental death of his brother, Buck. Conrad appears broken and unable to deal with his intense feelings of remorse, guilt, and grief. In this way, Ordinary People is a story of healing.

After an attempted suicide and hospitalization, Conrad’s father pushes him to seek council with a psychologist, Dr. Berger. Conrad is reluctant, as he doesn’t put much stock in psychology and believes it is a waste of time. Initially, Conrad only sees Dr. Berger to appease his father, and his prime goal is to appear “cured” so that his father will cease worrying. Conrad does not openly speak about his depression or suicide attempt to his friends and peers, as mental illness was highly stigmatized during the 1970s. He is emotionally closed off and distant, struggling to keep his grief at bay. Conrad begins to isolate himself from his friends and family.

One of the main feelings that Conrad deals with is the need for control. He feels specifically that things are not in control, and that bothers him. This intense need for control, and to control how his parents view him, causes him great anxiety. Perhaps this need for control stems from his feelings of guilt associated with the accidental death of Buck. Conrad deals with this by doing things, ordinary things, that are in his control. He begins to date a girl; he quits the swim team; he makes choices for himself.

Throughout the novel, Conrad begins to accept that he can’t control the past and that, as Berger suggests, the only way to move past his grief may be to access his memories of Buck and come to terms with his death. The healing ability of communication in the wake of traumatic experience, and long after, is a theme that is constantly present throughout the story.

Toward the end of the novel, Conrad finally begins to feel that there is hope to move past his depression and grief. In a powerful passage, he admits to Dr. Berger (and to himself) that he blames himself for the death of his brother.

We particularly see the growth of Conrad’s emotional state when he lapses into memories of his brother. Finally, the pain Conrad feels is beginning to transform into something less sharp:

He hangs on now, pressing his hand lightly against the wall, below the window, waiting for the familiar arrow of pain. Only there is none. An oddly pleasant swell of memory, a wave of warmth flooding over him, sliding back, slowly. It is a first.

The novel ends with Conrad and his father truly beginning to understand each other. Through open communication, this father-son relationship can begin to flourish. Neither Conrad nor his father is completely healed, but the hope for a better future is within their grasp.

What is your emotional reaction to the Jarrett family, specifically Conrad, in Ordinary People?

With Guest's work, I think that personal reflection is going to be critical.  It is fairly applicable to everyone because the presence or absence of a family is something that anyone can understand.  The fact that the novel takes place within the emotional dynamics of a family is something on which nearly everyone can and will have an opinion.  The most appropriate question then is how your emotional reaction to what is going on would be?  Take some of the basic elements and assess how you feel about it.  For example, the family deals with one major blow and another that results from it.  What do you think about how the family dealt with Buck's death?  They each have their own experience.  Connie doesn't understand it fully and blames himself for it, which is why he tries to hurt himself.  Being the youngest, Conrad is the one that manifests in the most demonstrative manner the pain the family feels, but in this light, he also manifests how one must accept the scar and public perception of disfigurement that might result and call out for help.  It is interesting to see how the youngest one teaches the adults of the family this lesson.   Cal cannot fully articulate the pain he is feeling because he has not fully grasped his own needs nor does he fully understand how his past plays a role in the condition in which he is in now in navigating the challenges between Beth and Con.  As for Beth, the harmony and vision of perfection of life that was supposedly present before the trials that besieged the family is something in which she took personal pride. For it to be gone is a reflection of failure.  Is this an appropriate emotional reaction to death and the forces of sadness and guilt that result from it.  The men in the family are ones that have to undergo the acceptance of imperfection and emotional "messiness" in order to better understand what it means to live in the modern predicament, while Beth, given her own background, is fundamentally incapable of accepting such an emotional reality.  This is not a judgment on her, as much as statement of how she appropriates reality.  I think that being able to assess how you view these conditions might be a good starting point on constructing your believes on the Jarrett family.

Discuss Conrad Jarrett's unstable nature in Ordinary People.

I think that Conrad is unstable for a couple of reasons.  Indeed, while things are "going wrong in his life," there are other reasons for this.  While it might seem a bit cliche now, Guest's work is really significant because it speaks to the idea that individuals can recognize pain and suffering in their own lives and do not need to repress or block it out as it not existing.  Part of why Conrad is so unstable is because he and his family lack the vocabulary, the psychological frame of reference, to understand the impact of death on them.  The conformity of the family and the need to "be fine" is almost as traumatic as death, itself.  Guest argues that understanding the psychological dimensions of both death and the personal relationships that govern our lives are extremely important to possessing a sense of contentment in consciousness.  Conrad is unstable because he does not understand the full psychological reach of both death and the relationships in his life.  In particular, this comes to his mother and how he can reach out to her in a time of pain and intense suffering, while understanding that she, herself, might be unreachable.  Her own emotional limitations is something that is experienced at the same time that the issue of death presents itself to Conrad.  This means that while Conrad and the family suffer from the challenges posed by death, there is an added pain and suffering evident in not being able to fully grasp and understand the extent of the emotional dynamics present in the family.  The absence of a frame of psychological reference is what makes Conrad's pain so difficult, something alleviated through talking about his feelings and communicating with the therapist.  It is here where Guest's work is truly profound.