The characters in Sally Rooney's novel Normal People, especially Marianne, live in the constant presence of possible violence. Rooney uses the events of the novel to highlight the violence women are taught to endure at the hands of the men in their lives, even and especially those who are closest to them.

Growing up, Marianne is subject to verbal abuse from her brother, Alan, with the looming threat that if she upsets him the abuse could become physical. He physically controls her, violently grabbing her arms or wrists to scare her into doing what he wants. When their mother sees this behavior, she ignores it. At school, Marianne is harassed by the boys, and when she is publicly groped at a school event, her classmates do nothing to defend her. In fact, they mock her for being upset about this act of sexual violence, telling her it was just a funny joke. These reactions reinforce the idea that violence, especially by men against women, is an expectation:

Denise decided a long time ago that it is acceptable for men to use aggression toward Marianne as a way of expressing themselves. As a child, Marianne resisted, but now she simply detaches, as if it isn't of any interest to her, which in a way it isn't.

As we see in this quote, Marianne internalizes the idea that she must expect violent treatment at the hands of men, and that violence will be a constant presence in her life.

This is perpetuated throughout Marianne's relationships with men throughout the novel. She has been raised to expect violence from men, and so she tends to choose boyfriends who will satisfy that expectation. Jamie is dominant and aggressive in their physical relationship, beating her up and choking her during sex, and on their trip to Italy, he smashes a wine glass in front of her and verbally abuses her in front of Connell. Lukas, Marianne's boyfriend in Sweden, forces her to let him take sexual pictures of her and seems to enjoy punishing her for misbehavior. When Connell questions Marianne about the way she is being treated by her boyfriends, she doesn't seem bothered by it:

Maybe I want to be treated badly, she says. I don't know. Sometimes I think I deserve bad things because I'm a bad person.

Far from being bothered by it, this is what Marianne expects. This violence is what she thinks she deserves.

Rooney has also laced the world these characters inhabit with subtle traces of violence. The students are often attending or witnessing protests, which many suggest may turn bloody, there is constant discussion of the violence in Gaza, one of their classmates commits suicide, and Connell is mugged and beaten up one night in college. There is rarely a sense of physical or emotional safety for the characters. The major exception is Marianne and Connell's relationship.

Connell and Marianne keep each other safe, in every sense of the word. From small gestures like Connell insisting that Marianne wear her seatbelt in the car, to larger protective moments like Marianne cleaning Connell up after he's been attacked on the street or Connell coming to Marianne's defense after her brother breaks her nose in a fight. Early on in their relationship, Connell realizes that Marianne expects violence from him, as she does from all men:

He has a terrible sense all of a sudden that he could hit her face, very hard even, and she would just sit there and let him. The idea frightens him so badly that he pulls his chair back and stands up.

He does not want to hurt her. This becomes a source of tension later in their relationship when Marianne asks him to hurt her during sex and he refuses. Though Marianne interprets this as him thinking she is weird or unnatural, it is truly just because he wants to care for her. Unlike the other men in Marianne's life, Connell does not get off on dominating her. When he picks her up from her house after her brother attacks her, he says:

"Look at me for a second. No one is going to hurt you like that again."

She looks at him above the veil of white tissue, and in a rush he feels his power over her again, the openness in her eyes.

"Everything's going to be alright," he says. "Trust me. I love you, I'm not going to let anything like that happen to you again."

In a world in which violence is an expectation and an inevitability, Connell offers himself as a safe haven. His relationship with Marianne is what eventually helps her realize that she does not deserve to be mistreated or abused and that violence should not be a shadow cast over her life.