‘‘The Night the Ghost Got In’’ is a fictionalized recounting of life in the Thurber household during James Thurber's upbringing. Early in the story, Thurber specifies the exact date of the events: November 17, 1915. The narrative kicks off with a brief introductory paragraph that sets the stage for the colorful events to follow—such as his mother throwing a shoe through a window and his grandfather shooting at a policeman—before diving right into the night's occurrences.

The story begins with the narrator, James Thurber, stepping out of a bath at 1:15 in the morning and hearing a noise downstairs in the dining room. To him, it sounds like footsteps, as if someone is quickly walking around the dining room table. He initially assumes it is his father or older brother returning from a trip. However, after a few minutes with the noise continuing, he decides to wake his brother Herman. Awakened abruptly, Herman is scared when told there is someone downstairs, although the story never clarifies if he hears the same noise as the narrator. He returns to bed, slamming the door behind him. The noise downstairs ceases, and Thurber notes, ‘‘None of us ever heard the ghost again.’’ However, the slamming door brings their mother into the hallway.

Their mother inquires about the footsteps she heard and concludes that there are burglars downstairs. Since the telephone is downstairs where she believes the burglars are, she comes up with a plan to contact the police. She throws a shoe through the window of the neighboring house, which is close to the Thurber residence, waking Mr. and Mrs. Bodwell. Initially, Mr. Bodwell thinks she is informing him about burglars in his own house. After a brief confusion, he calls the police and directs them to the Thurber house.

The arrival of the police escalates the situation dramatically. Their group consists of "a Ford sedan full of them, two on motorcycles, and a patrol wagon with about eight of them in it and a few reporters." They demand the front door be opened, and when no one in the house responds, they break it down. They proceed upstairs to find the narrator, still undressed after his bath, while the mother insists there are burglars in the house, despite all doors and windows being locked from the inside.

To justify their presence, the police begin searching the house, moving furniture and emptying closets. At one point, a policeman's curiosity leads him to point out an unusual old musical instrument, a zither, to another officer. The narrator adds to the confusion by mentioning that the family’s old guinea pig used to sleep on the zither. The police are suspicious of this eccentric family. One officer notes that the son, Thurber, was "nekked" when they arrived, and that the mother was hysterical, or as the policeman says, "historical."

When the narrator’s grandfather, who sleeps in the attic, makes a slight noise, the policemen spring into action and race upstairs. The narrator knows this will lead to trouble because his grandfather is "going through a phase" where he believes the Civil War is still ongoing. Grandfather is fixated on the retreat of the Union army under General George Meade from Stonewall Jackson’s Confederate forces. When the policemen reach his door, he is convinced they are Meade’s army. He calls them cowards and tells them to return to the battle. He slaps one of the policemen on the back of the head, knocking him to the floor. As the others flee, he takes the fallen officer’s gun and shoots at him, hitting him in the shoulder. After...