The lines “‘Tis better to have loved and lost, / Than never to have loved at all” come from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem “In Memoriam A.H.H,” written to commemorate the early death of Tennyson's close friend Arthur Henry Hallam. The lines, repeatedly alluded to, are a motif in the story.

The quote is humorously referred to as American when, in fact, it is British, showing how British and American culture conflates or merges in the minds of the characters who are Chinese immigrants to America. It is a motif because it symbolizes the very different attitudes towards love in the West compared to China. Mrs. Spring Fragrance quotes it to Laura, who regrets having fallen in love with a local, westernized young Chinese man when she is destined to wed a different Chinese man that she has never met. Overhearing this conversation, Mr. Spring Fragrance thinks the Tennyson quote "is disobedient to reason."

The quote thus becomes the lynchpin for an exploration of differing cultural mores about love and marriage. As the Chinese immigrants in the story assimilate to American culture, they begin to adopt its ideas, such as the value of companionate marriage based on mutual esteem. Mrs. Spring Fragrance, for instance, is able to mastermind Laura's would-be husband falling in love with and marrying another woman, thus freeing Laura to follow her heart.

One of the ironies of the story, however, is that the quote alludes to losing a friend, not to romantic love—this adds to the light-hearted tone of the piece.