Student Question
Is this a good thesis for Katherine Mansfield's "Miss Brill": "Miss Brill demonstrates isolation through sensitive, lonely, and vulnerable revelations"?
Quick answer:
The thesis "Miss Brill demonstrates isolation through sensitive, lonely, and vulnerable revelations" is not effective due to unclear grammar and ambiguity in its intent. It is unclear whether the aim is to show how Mansfield portrays Miss Brill's isolation or how her sensitivity, loneliness, and vulnerability contribute to this theme. A clearer thesis might be: "In 'Miss Brill,' Katherine Mansfield demonstrates Miss Brill's isolation through her sensitivity, loneliness, and vulnerability."
Sadly, this is not a good thesis as it stands for several reasons. The first is that it is not written in correct English grammar. Therefore, it is not understandable.
The second is that (even allowing for corrected English grammar) it is not clear whether you intend to prove that Katherine Mansfield demonstrates Miss Brill's isolation or whether you intend to prove Miss Brill's isolation is revealed through her sensitivity, loneliness and vulnerability--or something else entirely.
The third reason is that, as already indicated, the
relationship between Miss Brill's isolation and the revelations of someone
(presumably Miss Brill) being sensitive, lonely and vulnerable is not
clear.
Based upon my best ciphering of what you might possibly actually mean, I
suggest you rewrite your these in this way:
In "Miss Brill," author Katherine Mansfield demonstrates Miss Brill's isolation through revelations of Miss Brill as being sensitive, lonely and vulnerable.
In...
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this thesis, you will beproving through textual quotations and inferences that Miss Brill (1) is sensitive, lonely and vulnerable and that (2) these proofs reveal that she is isolated. As an aside, when writing your essay, be certain that each sentence contains a Subject (the acting, responsible Agent of the sentence) and a Verb (what the Agent precipitates or is):
The author demonstrates something.
The character is something.
The isolation proves something.
The sensitivity is revealed by something.
Be sure each part of a complicated sentence is properly organized alone, as in the above illustrations, before you try to join it to another sentence to form an entire complicated thought and concept.