Act I, Scene 1
SCENE 1. Windsor. Before PAGE'S house.
[Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.]
Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter
of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not
abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and 'coram.'
Ay, cousin Slender, and 'cust-alorum.'
Ay, and 'rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson,
who writes himself 'armigero' in any bill, warrant, quittance,
Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
All his successors, gone before him, hath done't; and all his
ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen
white luces in their coat.
It is an old coat.
The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well,
passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old
I may quarter, coz?
You may, by marrying.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Not a whit.
Yes, py'r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three
skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; but that is all one.
If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of
the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements
and compremises between you.
The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in
a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got,
and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
It is petter that friends is the sword and end it; and there is
also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot
discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to
Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire;
and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is
her grandsire upon his death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful
resurrections!--give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles,
and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that
is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John
is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
peat the door for Master Page.
[Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
[Within.] Who's there?
Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and
here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another
tale, if matters grow to your likings.
I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison,
Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart!
I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good
Mistress Page?--and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my
Sir, I thank you.
Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on
It could not be judged, sir.
You'll not confess, you'll not confess.
That he will not: 'tis your fault; 'tis your fault. 'Tis a good dog.
A cur, sir.
Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is
good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
Sir, he is...
(The entire section is 4,700 words.)