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Marriage Is a Private Affair

by Chinua Achebe

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Student Question

What is the village elders' viewpoint on marriage in "Marriage Is a Private Affair"?

Quick answer:

The village elders in "Marriage Is a Private Affair" view marriage as a communal and traditional arrangement, strictly adhering to Ibo customs. They are shocked by Nnaemeka's decision to marry by choice, particularly to someone outside their tribe, seeing it as a violation of tradition. They interpret his actions as a sign of moral decline, with some suggesting his mind is diseased and even proposing consulting a native doctor. Overall, they strongly disapprove of his marriage to Nene.

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According to Ibo customs, marriages are arranged between couples by their elders. Therefore, when Nnaemeka decides to marry a woman of his own choice, the whole village is shocked by his decision. Also, these customs require that one marries within the Ibo clan. Nene, the woman who Nnaemeka chooses to marry, however, is not an Ibo. One old man terms Nnaemeka’s behavior as “unheard of." A few others refer to the Bible, one saying that “What did our Lord say? Sons shall rise against their fathers; it is there in the holy book," another saying that “It is the beginning of the end." The old men, thus, seek for reasons to Nnaemeka’s “strange” behavior. Another even suggests that Okeke, Nnaemeka’s father, should consult a native doctor over his son’s strange actions. He explains that “the boy’s mind is diseased and only a good herbalist could bring him back to his right senses." However, Okeke dismisses this suggestion, stating that “if Nnaemeka wants to kill himself, he should do it with his own hands."

The whole village is prejudiced towards Nnaemeka’s marriage, especially in the beginning. The old people generally think that Nnaemeka is violating their customs by going ahead with his plans to marry Nene. They cannot understand his behavior. They even visit Okeke so as to commiserate with him over his son’s appalling behavior.

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