Marriage Is a Private Affair Cover Image

Marriage Is a Private Affair

by Chinua Achebe

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Student Question

What characteristics does Okeke seek in a wife for his son?

Quick answer:

Okeke seeks a wife for his son who has a Christian background and good character, disregarding love as a factor in matchmaking. He holds traditional views, believing that women should not teach, based on a misinterpretation of the Bible. Okeke's prejudices lead him to reject Nene Atang, his son's choice, despite her Christian background, causing distress for himself, his son Nnaemeka, and Nene.

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Okeke requires that a wife for his son should have a Christian background and be of good character.

To Okeke, love is not a necessary element in the area of matchmaking. Thus, he becomes incensed when he discovers that his son, Nnaemeka, has decided to make a love match, rather than to marry the girl he, Okeke, has picked for him. Okeke entertains very old-fashioned ideas about how a wife should behave.

He strongly believes that "no Christian woman should teach" and is upset when he discovers that his future daughter-in-law is a teacher at a girls' school in Lagos. Okeke has literally misinterpreted the Bible; in 1 Timothy 2:12, the apostle Paul proclaimed: "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." The original injunction was against women teaching men (in itself the subject of much debate today).

Due to his extreme prejudice, Okeke rejects Nene Atang even before he has had a chance to meet her and to become acquainted with her. He ignores the fact that Nene meets one of his original requirements: that a wife for his son should come from a Christian background. Because of his bias, Okeke brings much grief on himself, Nnaemeka, and Nene.

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