one of his letters to the Corinthians, said that women should remain silent.

Despite this father's objections, Nnaemeka is certain that he will warm to Nene when he finally gets a chance to meet her. But Nnaemeka's father remains as stubborn as ever; as he bluntly tells his son, he will never see her.

Achebe offers significant details throughout the short story "Marriage is a Private Affair" that characterize Nnaemeka's father. Nnaemeka's father is depicted as a strict man who abides by the traditional customs of his tribe. Throughout the short story, Nnaemeka father's shuns his son for choosing to marry a woman from another tribe on his own. Nnaemeka's father stubbornly insists that his son follow the traditional custom of marrying the woman his parents choose. Nnaemeka's father is deeply hurt that his son neglected his advice to marry Ugoye and instead married Nene. Nnaemeka's father is also depicted as an austere Christian, who constantly reads the Bible and quotes scripture. However, he is also portrayed as a hypocrite because he does not demonstrate the Christian ideals of forgiveness and mercy. He harbors hate and resentment in his heart, which makes him a depressed, conflicted man. Toward the end of the story, Nnaemeka father's is portrayed as man filled with guilt, who wasted valuable years shunning his son and grandchildren. 

If we are discussing "what we know" about Nnaemeka's father, Okeke, then we are discussing aspects of his character. First, we know that Okeke values Ibo tradition more than anything else at the beginning of the story. Living in a rural Ibo village in Nigeria, there are many traditions to which Okeke adheres. For example, Okeke believes strongly that he should follow Ibo tradition and choose a wife for his son. According to Ibo tradition, wives must be Christians, good homemakers, and (above all) be of the Ibo culture. Nnaemeka rejects these traditions by falling in love with Nene and choosing to marry her instead of the Ibo maiden that Okeke has chosen for his son. For eight years, Okeke stubbornly disowns his son, even to the point of ripping his son's new bride out of their wedding photo. However, it is important to note that Okeke changes over the course of the story. The impetus for the change is Nene's letter about Okeke's two grandsons and how they wish to interact with their grandfather. This causes Okeke to cling to family over tradition and agree to meet with his grandsons. By the end of the story, Okeke only hopes that he lives long enough to "make it up to" the family.

Nnaemeka is significantly different from his father because he accepts modern ideas regarding marriage, while his father subscribes to traditional views of marriage. Nnaemeka is a young Ibo man, who is determined to marry Nene. Not only has Nnaemeka's father not had a say in who his son is marrying, but Nene is also from a different tribe. Traditionally, the Ibo parents play the role of matchmakers and choose who their sons will marry. Nnaemeka's decision to marry Nene out of love and without his father's say creates a conflict in his relationship with his father. Nnaemeka's father is portrayed as a callous, traditional man, who stubbornly ends his relationship with his son after Nnaemeka marries Nene. In contrast, Nnaemeka is depicted as a modern, compassionate man, who courageously marries the woman he loves despite his father's feelings. 

One way in which both father and son are different from one another has to be in how each of them views tradition.  Okeke is insistent that his son marry a girl of his choice.  It is imperative to the father that the son adhere to the rules and traditions of the Ibo culture.  Nnaemeka is fundamentally different in this regard.  When he challenges his father's preconceptions in suggesting that he wants to marry a woman that he loves, the son shows himself as being different in his rejection of tradition.  Nnaemeka displays that he is more willing to embrace his own freedom and choice than be submissive to whatever tradition dictates.  

Another level of difference between them is their emotional flexibility.  Nnaemeka is willing to embrace his father, even though he holds different beliefs about marriage.  From the start of the story, the son seems flexible in trying to bring peace with his father.  The son sends letters to his father and pictures, seeking to bring about consensus.  This emotional pliability is fundamentally different from Okeke, who rejects his son with claims of "Satanic influence" or returning letters with Nene's had cut out of pictures.  There is a fierce streak of stubbornness in the father that the son simply does not possess.  It is here in which another difference between father and son is evident.

Nnaemeka's father wants him to marry a girl from the same tribe as him. More specifically, he wants his son to marry "the eldest daughter of [their] neighbor." This girl is, he says, "a proper Christian" and has received, at the home of a pastor, "all the training a wife could need." This girl also "reads her Bible very fluently." Nnaemeka's father hopes that they can "begin negotiations" for the marriage to take place as soon as possible.

Nnaemeka remembers this girl from his childhood. He remembers her as "an Amazon of a girl who used to beat up all the boys, himself included." It doesn't seem to matter to Nnaemeka's father that Nnaemeka doesn't love this girl. In fact, he seems surprised that his son should think that this matters. When Nnaemeka tells his father that he doesn't love the girl, his father responds with, "Why should you?" He tells his son that what one should look for in a wife is not love, but "a good character and a Christian background."

When Nnaemeka tells his father that the girl he wants to marry is a teacher, his father tells him that "no Christian woman should teach." This confirms that Nnaemeka's father wants him to marry a woman who conforms to very traditional, very conservative ideas of what a good woman and wife should be. He wants for his son a wife who will be subservient, reserved, and well-versed in Christian morality.