Both Marmee and Grace encounter the restrictions placed on American women during the nineteenth century. Marmee, a middle-class white woman, is able to express her frustrations. She emphasizes the challenges women face in acquiring a meaningful education, noting that they “are subjected to a course of study [music, drawing, languages] that is stultifying, oppressive, crippling rather than enhancing to [their] moral integrity and intellectual growth.” Women are prohibited from participating in debates or displaying strong emotions. Marmee attempts to ignore these societal norms but faces criticism, especially from her husband. Upon marriage, she decides that if she has daughters, she will raise them to be independent and free-spirited.

Marmee struggles to control her emotions and behavior. When she becomes angry at Emerson's perceived lack of dedication to the abolitionist cause, March wonders, “who could have imagined this gently bred young woman to be so entirely bereft of the powers of self-government.” He feels it is his responsibility to teach her to adhere to feminine boundaries, believing that “perhaps . . . a husband’s gentle guidance could assist her in the battle against such a dangerous bosom enemy.” He questions “what sort of wife, what sort of mother” she would become if she were allowed to express her emotions freely. Yet, he does not see the irony when he enjoys her passionate nature as it appears sexually in the woods. Reflecting on their relationship, he remembers, “I tried to teach her something about her new place, giving her to understand, with gentle hints and loving guidance, that what might be considered lapses born of high spirits in a young maiden were in no way proper in one who was now a mother and a wife.” The underlying belief is that it is a man's right and duty to educate the woman, as he assumes he possesses greater awareness and knowledge.

Marmee recognizes her limited ability to break free from traditional roles. When faced with Jo’s similarly fiery temper, Marmee defends her decision not to suppress her daughter by saying, “the world would crush [Jo’s] spirit soon enough.” She later regrets not speaking up about March’s decision to enlist, admitting, “It was folly to let him go,” but acknowledges that “one is not permitted to say such a thing; it is just one more in the long list of things that a woman must not say.” She explains, “I only let him do to me what men have ever done to women: march off to empty glory and hollow acclaim and leave us behind to pick up the pieces.” These pieces include her feelings of betrayal when March misleads her about the harsh realities of war and his interactions with Grace. His desire to protect her from the truth underscores both his hypocrisy and his belief that she cannot cope with it. Brooks introduces irony by illustrating that while March is committed to freeing blacks from slavery, he remains unaware of the constraints imposed on his own wife. Although he champions the cause of slaves, he neglects to scrutinize his own patriarchal and paternalistic attitudes.

March challenges conventional religious practices and beliefs by rejecting the notion of original sin and discovering more spirituality in nature than within a church. Despite societal constraints, Marmee successfully defies some social expectations about women's behavior. She was raised with the freedom to voice her opinions, a liberty her parents never curtailed. She dismisses the standard education offered to women and educates herself in subjects traditionally considered male domains.

Marmee also confronts her husband's attempts to suppress her. After her clash with Aunt March, she tells him, “You stifle me! You crush me! You preach emancipation, and yet you enslave me, in the most fundamental way.” She demands equality by asking, “Am I not to have the freedom to express myself, in my own home? . . . I am your belittled woman, and I am tired of it,” asserting, “I will not be degraded in this way.” Although Marmee oversteps when she strikes March during her outburst, her words underscore the significant issue of female inequality of the era and women's early efforts to break free from traditional roles.