A coming-of-age novel typically depicts the protagonist's journey toward adulthood, often marked by the acquisition of knowledge and experience. This transition frequently involves a loss of innocence or the breakdown of a false sense of security. The main character usually evolves from ignorance to awareness, innocence to experience, idealism to realism, or immaturity to maturity. Furthermore, this coming-of-age journey often includes rituals or rites of passage. The Lovely Bones explores these themes as the author delves into the process of growing up.

The story begins with Lindsey Salmon at thirteen years old and ends nearly ten years later, with her as a wife and mother. It chronicles her path through the key milestones and events of female adolescence—first kisses, shaving her legs, experimenting with makeup, attending summer camp, experiencing love, forming friendships, and going to college. However, the novel also tracks Susie's coming-of-age journey. By portraying the growth of both a deceased girl and a living one, Sebold adds deeper significance to the experiences of growing up. Susie cannot progress after death until she completes her "growing up."

Susie's rape and murder hasten the shift from innocence to experience for both girls. Susie comes to understand that her seemingly safe suburban world is actually dangerous—men kill children in this reality. She is violently thrust from innocence to experience and from idealism to realism. However, this abrupt change doesn't lead to her "coming of age;" instead, it ignites a need for her to undergo these changes more gradually and naturally. While Susie's death also speeds up Lindsey's loss of innocence, it does so in a less dramatic way. Lindsey learns that her world isn't completely safe, that evil people exist and do terrible things, but she still participates in the typical rites of passage associated with growing up.

Like many teenage girls, Lindsey experiments with makeup and finds a style that suits her. She shares a tender first kiss with Samuel, and they slowly navigate the rituals of courtship. Lindsey matures into her sexuality, forming a relationship based on trust, gentleness, and understanding. However, Susie's murder, along with their mother's absence, forces Lindsey into adult roles earlier than expected. Sebold acknowledges the natural process of growing up but places it within a broader context. In The Lovely Bones, the transition from innocence to knowledge can happen violently and suddenly. Coming of age can occur under extraordinary circumstances, perhaps suggesting a need to reconsider what is considered normal.