Student Question

In The Kite Runner, how does Amir's childhood relationship with his father affect his adulthood?

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This is a great question. It is absolutely clear, that, as for all of us, Amir's childhood relationship with his father greatly impacts him in his adult years. One central aspect that you have to focus on is how Amir is presented as being so incredibly different to Baba. Note that this is something that causes Baba himself to doubt his own paternity of Amir:

"If I hadn't seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I'd never believe he's my son."

Throughout his life, Baba is described as a strong character who is eager to stand up and fight against injustice to protect the weak. And yet note how Amir reacts to a number of key situations: he is scared of Assef, and crucially does nothing to help Hassan and prevent his rape. Likewise, when Baba and Amir flee Afghanistan, Amir tries to dissuade his father from challenging the Russian soldier who wants to rape one of the women travelling with them. Amir is constantly aware of how he does not measure up when compared with his father, and this is something that Rahim Khan uses when Amir is an adult to convince him to go back to Kabul and rescue Sohrab:

"You know," Rahim Khan said, "one time, when you weren't around, your father and I were talking. And you know how he always worried about you in those days. I remember he said to me, 'Rahim, a boy who won't stand up for himself becomes a man who can't stand up to anything.' I wonder, is that what you've become?"

It is crucially this haunting recognition of how Amir has not lived up to Baba's larger than life personality that drives him to recognise and accept this part of his legacy and to face Assef and his fears by going to Kabul to rescue Sohrab, and thus dispel the ghosts from his own past.

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In The Kite Runner, how do Amir's complex relationships affect him positively and negatively?

Amir grows up in two complex relationships, one with his father and one with his childhood friend, Hassan. As a child, Amir feels his father Baba's disapproval and cannot live up to his father's expectations. This causes Amir great fear, anxiety, resentment, and self-loathing. Time passes, however, and Amir and Baba make a daring and dangerous escape from Afghanistan to begin a new life in the United States. Their new life, and Amir's development into a young man, creates a strong bond between them. When Baba dies, Amir's conflicts with his father have been resolved; they have grown very close.

Amir's relationship with Hassan is even more complicated. Because of his conflicted feelings about his father and his negative feelings about himself, Amir frequently resents Hassan, punishing him because Baba treats Hassan like a son instead of a servant. Amir is sometimes cruel to Hassan, exercising his power over him in order to make himself feel significant. Through his own cowardice, Amir does not even attempt to save Hassan from the savage attack at the hands of neighborhood bullies. Amir, out of shame, then tricks Baba into sending Hassan away which robs Hassan of his home. Years later, Amir seizes the opportunity to atone for his sins against Hassan by returning to Afghanistan to rescue Hassan's son. Amir faces great danger and takes a terrible beating, but he saves the little boy and brings him home to live with Amir in the United States. In doing so, Amir becomes the man he always wanted to be.

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