“I, I, I” delves into the profound exploration of the self, unraveling layers of understanding that the speaker gains more clarity on as an adult compared to the blurry comprehension of childhood. The poem unfolds the notion of dual selves: one that actively engages in the world and another that observes these actions from a distance. Carruth captures the pivotal moment of individuation, where the self becomes aware of its own existence, marking the birth of the concept of 'I': “The starting point, the place where the mind begins.” This awakening, while a fleeting moment in time, transforms into a state of being, allowing for a continuous awareness of both the acting self and the observing self during daily life. The young boy in the poem grapples with this duality, initially confused, while his older self embraces and comprehends it, enlightened by a revealing episode at the barbershop.

The Duality of Self

The underlying essence of Carruth’s poem lies in the dual nature of the self. This intriguing concept posits that part of the self, the small self, plunges into the tangible realm of action. In contrast, the larger, eternal self remains still, a serene observer detached from the material commotion. This dualism resonates deeply with Eastern mystical traditions, echoing through ancient Indian scriptures, Buddhist philosophy, and even the musings of certain Christian theologians like St. Augustine and Meister Eckhart.

A Young Mind's Awakening

As a boy, the speaker wrestles with the profound implications of this duality. It is only through the vivid illustration provided by a barbershop encounter that he achieves clarity, turning an ethereal concept into a tangible reality. Gazing into the mirror, he witnesses an endless regression of his own reflections fading into the “shadows,” a metaphor hinting at mortality. This revelation makes mirrors redundant for him, for he understands the essence and ultimate fate of his small self: death.

Elements of the young boy's trip to the barbershop echo themes of transformation and growth, akin to those depicted in a bildungsroman. This experience particularly resonates with rites of passage into manhood, reminiscent of initiation ceremonies in various global cultures, such as those found among Native American tribes and African communities. A shared aspect of these traditional rituals involves the boy stepping away from his mother's embrace to signify newfound independence, accompanied by a solitary period. In the poem "I, I, I," the boy similarly ventures away from his mother, entering the distinctive male realm of the barbershop. This space is defined by its masculine features: a barber skilled in men's grooming, and a pool table hinting at the classic male leisure activity. The ceremonial essence of the event is captured in the adventurous declaration, “no woman / Would venture there.”

This sense of initiation is further highlighted by the boy's inaugural visit to the barber, perhaps marking his first solo foray into the world. The barbershop is depicted as a "cave," and upon his return, his own room transforms into "another cave." Traditionally, caves, or darkened huts, serve as sacred venues for initiation rituals. Within these shadowy and silent confines, external distractions fade, allowing the initiate to focus inward. The dual symbolism of the cave as both a resting place for the old self and a nurturing womb for rebirth into a new life phase is profound. Across numerous cultures, the act of cutting hair signifies a cleansing from past life stages and heralds a fresh start; this ritual is mirrored in certain Christian monastic traditions where novices' hair is shorn as they take vows.

The ultimate goal of any initiation ceremony is to transform the initiate, ensuring they emerge more enlightened, self-reliant, and closer to adulthood. In Carruth’s poem, the boy's journey follows this archetype. Upon his return, he no longer relies on mirrors to grasp his identity, having gained deeper insights into his true self.