Although there are moments of anger and even violence, the majority of the brutality in The Homecoming is hidden behind a veneer of sophistication. When physical confrontations do happen, they often come across as humorous. Lenny's stories about the prostitute near the harbor and the elderly woman he attacked are told in an almost offhand way. The potential for violence against Ruth or any woman Lenny dislikes is always lurking in the background. Ruth herself maintains a polite exterior that conceals her deep-seated passion and sexuality.

As Act II opens, the entire family is gathered, enjoying coffee and cigars after dinner. They exchange courteous remarks about the meal and the coffee, and discuss how proud Jessie would be of her distinguished sons and how much she would have loved to see her grandchildren. On the surface, it seems like a warm family occasion. However, beneath this facade lies a tense power struggle for dominance within the family. An unwritten rule appears to be that when someone is attacked, they must not reveal their pain. Even when Ruth decides to stay and work as a prostitute, Teddy's departure is humorously ordinary. He tells Max how pleasant it was to visit, gives advice on the best route to the airport, and Max gives him a photo of himself to show the grandchildren. This outward conventionality amplifies the grotesque nature of the underlying emotional violence.