While the utopia envisioned by Gilman lacks the intricacies of romantic love due to its all-female population, she recognizes that for her story to hold practical significance, it must demonstrate what fair and balanced love looks like. Therefore, she delves into the theme of love grounded in mutual respect, particularly highlighted in the novella's latter sections through Van and Ellador's courtship. In the absence of a traditional romantic relationship, Van develops a deep, non-sexual connection with Ellador, and they become close companions. When the nation's elders decide to undertake a "Great Experiment" by permitting the three visitors to marry and have children with three citizens, Ellador and Van marry happily. Their relationship, nurtured without the pressures of sexual attraction, is founded on respect, admiration, and a shared ambition for productivity. As a result, Van is largely unaffected by the limitation of physical affection strictly to reproductive purposes.

Gilman proposes that genuine love is more about partnership than physical attraction. Cooperation, another key theme, is vital not only for thriving marriages but also for Herland's entire social framework. The narrator and his teachers often compare their community to an anthill, where everyone collaborates towards a shared objective. Herland's cooperative model is noteworthy for both negating and affirming individualism. Each inhabitant is part of a cohesive family focused on improving the social system. However, they are not compelled to live under the control of a dominant ruling class. The educational system enables individuals to contribute based on their personal interests and abilities. This method makes work and productivity enjoyable, avoiding the harmful effects of competition.

In Herland, the only competition among its inhabitants might be for the honor of motherhood. Due to their geographic isolation, the society restricts the number of children each woman can have, permitting only the most capable or intelligent women to become mothers. Others gladly contribute to raising the children, regardless of whether they are the biological mothers or serve as aunts. Motherhood, with its psychological effects and significance to a woman's role as a citizen, is another crucial theme. In a society without men, Gilman upholds motherhood as a fundamental aspect of femininity. Maternal love is not limited to one's biological children, as education is central to their community, making the nurturing of the young a collective duty.