"He Had Been Kicked In The Head By A Mule When Young"
Context: There is a girl who because of her attitude is regarded in her home town as a "Cold Proposition." She laments that there is not a man in the town "who comes up to her Plans and Specifications for a Husband." She dreams of an ideal man who will be pensive and literary. He will wear "a Prince Albert coat, a neat Derby Hat and god-like Whiskers." "When He came he would enfold Her in his Arms and whisper Emerson's Essays to her." But her ideal man never shows up, much to her chagrin. She is interested only in men who are involved in intellectual quests. Finally, in desperation she weds a janitor who is hardly what she wanted. When she was Thirty-Four years of age and was able to recite "Lucille" without looking at the Book she was Married to a Janitor of the name of Ernest. He had been kicked in the Head by a Mule when young and believed everything he read in the Sunday Papers. His pay was Twenty-Three a month, which was high, if you knew Ernest. His Wife wore a red Mother Hubbard all during the Remainder of her Life. This is invariably a Sign of Blasted Hopes.
MORAL: Never Live in a Jay Town.