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Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

by Jonathan Safran Foer

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Student Question

What do the rules signify in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close?

Quick answer:

The rules in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close could represent how Grandpa deals with the trauma of the Dresden bombing. "Never talk about the past" is one rule. Another rule is, "We never listen to said music." We might argue that Grandpa's sundry of rules are a way to compensate for the lack of rules and laws that produced Dresden. The rules help Grandpa reassert control over his life and his person.

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When you ask what the rules "signify," you're likely asking: What might the rules mean? Why are they important? What do they suggest or indicate?

Remember, Grandpa survived the deadly bombing of Dresden during World War II. Who didn't survive? Basically, all the people that meant something to him, including his parents and his pregnant girlfriend.

When Grandpa comes to New York and meets his girlfriend's sister, they make lots of rules. What's one rule? "Never talk about the past."

We might make the link between rules and trauma. Perhaps the rules are meant to prevent the trauma of the past from entering the present. The rules are a way to compartmentalize, to draw boundaries, to keep Grandpa’s life as it is right now organized.

Yet perhaps not all of the rules have such a heavy significance. Some of the rules might strike us as peculiar or strange. Why is...

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it a rule for Grandpa to go to the door when Grandma uses the bathroom? Why is it a rule to always eat on the same side of the table?

Again, we might argue that they're getting carried away with the amount of rules they're producing. Grandpa acknowledges this when he says, "So many rules, sometimes I can't remember what's a rule and what isn't."

Later on, we have the sentence, "Home is the place with the most rules."

Why might home be the place with the most rules? Could it be because "home" is what Grandpa controls most? Perhaps that control leads him to strive for more control—the way eating a few potato chips often leads us to eat a lot of potato chips (or the entire bag).

Again, we might argue that the rules indicate how Grandpa is trying to retake control over his life. We might discuss how the rules of war—or the lack of them—demolish our sense of control or boundaries. Shouldn't there be rules or laws against destroying cities and people? We might posit that Grandpa's plurality of rules is a response to the dearth of rules that produced the bombing of Dresden.

We also notice rules outside of specific wartime events. Think about Oskar's visit with Dr. Fein. The two play a game. Dr. Fein says something, and Oskar says what that something makes him think of. Dr. Fein says, "There are no right or wrong answers here. No rules."

Yet when they begin to play, Dr. Fein doesn’t like Oskar’s wordy responses. Dr. Fein says, "Let's see if we can keep it one word." Oskar replies, "For a game with no rules, this game has a lot of rules."

With the above, we note how rules might be used to control someone else. Dr. Fein is trying to control Oskar’s answers. Might Grandpa be trying to control Grandma with his array of rules? Might he also be trying to control himself?

There's so much to think through and wonder about when it comes to rules and this intricate book. We hope we've helped you some.

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What do the rules signify in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close?

For Oskar, having rules means that he is safe. His father was the one who always used to make him feel safe, and in the aftermath of his father’s death in the 9/11 terror attacks he needs something to make him feel secure. It has been argued that this heightened sense of fear that Oskar felt is a symbol for the fear felt by all Americans in those terrible days following the attack.

Oskar’s state of mind and need for structure is exacerbated by the fact that he is keeping a terrible secret: he is the only person who knows that his dad tried to call home and left messages on the answering machine on that fateful day. He has gone to great lengths to prevent anyone in his family from finding out about this, including secretly replacing the phone.

While he tries to get used to his new “normal,” which involves strained relationships and self-harming, Oskar makes up rules for himself, such as the strict need to avoid heights—which makes sense in his circumstances, given the height of the Twin Towers. He also tries to invent things that he thinks will help to keep him safe in various scenarios.

In a nutshell, Oskar feels like his world is spinning out of control. Introducing self-imposed rules, even if they may seem nonsensical, is a way of restoring order to his life.

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