Day 6025

In the morning, A finds it difficult to move. He has been overweight in the past, but the body of Finn Taylor is morbidly obese. This is not because of a medical condition, but because Finn does not care about anything. At some point in his life, he gave up, and his obesity is one result.

Although A is tempted to play sick, he decides to shower and go to school. He does not want to skip seeing Rhiannon, not “when things feel so precarious,” so he offers to meet her at her bookstore that evening. When he does so, he is careful to warn her about his appearance.

At school, A finds it difficult to navigate the world from within Finn’s body. He is not used to moving so much bulk around, nor is he used to experiencing so much disgust from the people around him. The only people who do not treat Finn with revulsion are his two good friends. They do make fun of him for his weight, but A has the distinct impression that they would make fun of Finn if he were skinny as well.

After school, A showers and puts on Finn’s best clothes. As he readies himself, he has a thought that he would like to leave Finn with a scary memory—something to shock him out of his current lifestyle. When A realizes what he has just thought, he is upset with himself. He reminds himself that Finn’s choices are nobody’s business but his own.

Nervously, A drives to the bookstore and waits for Rhiannon. When she arrives, she seems a little overwhelmed. “Don’t look at the package. Look at what’s inside,” A reminds her. But she replies that it is easy for him to give this advice when he is not the one who has to adjust at every meeting. Privately, A thinks that he does have to adjust. Even though Rhiannon always looks the same, each of her moods makes her a little different.

Trying to make the best of things, A takes Rhiannon to dinner and a movie. During the dinner, she admits that she cannot see A in Finn the way she can see him in other bodies. To A, this is almost good news, and he says maybe it is because he and Finn are such different people. But Rhiannon is clearly doubting her ability to live with this situation, which scares A into silence.

For the rest of the evening, A feels like nothing goes right. His arm feels wrong around Rhiannon’s shoulders. She holds his hand for a while, but she soon finds an excuse to pull it away. When they say goodnight, they do not kiss. She merely thanks him for some flowers he bought her, and they go their separate ways.