Day 6024

When A’s latest mother wakes him up in the morning, he sees a dark suit waiting. It takes A a moment to realize he is named Marc, and he is going to his grandfather’s funeral today. Marc’s mother asks A to be patient with his father, who is taking this death very hard. Before he leaves with Marc’s family, A steals a quick moment on the computer to let Rhiannon know what is going on. 

At the funeral, A accesses Marc’s memories of his grandfather, a strong and good man whom everyone clearly loved. Around A, everyone else is probably thinking of the same memories—but of course, they actually knew the man who died.

When A looks around at Marc’s parents, his extended family, and all of the grandfather’s fishing buddies, he feels like “a complete imposter.” He tries to remember everything he sees and hears, for Marc’s sake, because Marc should be able to remember his own grandfather’s funeral. But A also thinks about himself, and when he sees the grandfather’s body lying empty, he has the morbid thought that the bodies he occupies are also empty of their owners.

During the funeral, the preacher recites the funeral service with real grief. When Marc’s father gets up to speak, he briefly loses control and cries. Marc’s mother goes up to stand with him, and he regains his composure well enough to finish. He puts aside his notes and tells stories of the father he has lost.

By the end of the service, A is in tears. Marc’s parents comfort him, but it does not help. They are comforting their son, not A, and A’s own grief is incomprehensible to them. He is crying because he is “not a part of this, and will never be a part of something like this.” There will never be a family and a community surrounding A. He feels jealous of the dead man for having this. And even while he cries, A knows that Marc will remember crying for his grandfather, and will not remember that A was ever there.

Later, when A watches Marc’s grandfather’s coffin descend into the ground, he thinks that it is “a strange ritual.” It occurs to him that this is the last time so many people will think of the dead man at once. Oddly, A feels sorry that Marc’s grandfather cannot witness the moment.

After the funeral, everyone goes to the grandfather’s house to eat and tell stories. Most people drink a good deal, but not Marc’s mother, who stays sober to drive her husband and son home. On the way, in the dark, A pretends to himself that this is really his family. “But it all feels hollow,” he thinks, “because I know better.”