In "Epicœne," a spirited comedy unfolds around the antics of young men-about-town and one particularly noise-averse uncle. The plot twists around Sir Dauphine Eugenie, who must outwit his eccentric uncle Morose, known for his disdain for any sound but his own voice. As the young men embroil themselves in schemes and pranks, a series of humorous events lead to an unexpected revelation about the supposed silent woman, Mistress Epicne.

A Clash of Voices

When Clerimont and Truewit cross paths, the conversation meanders through topics like natural beauty versus cosmetics before settling on their mutual friend Sir Dauphine Eugenie. They ponder how he tolerates his peculiar uncle, Morose, who has an almost phobic reaction to noise but revels in his own monologues. Clerimont’s page entertains them with stories of pranks that add chaos to Morose’s life, each more cacophonous than the last.

Sir Dauphine, weary from blame, tells the others how his uncle accuses him and his friends of orchestrating these noisy disturbances. Morose, in retaliation, threatens to marry, redirecting his wealth away from Dauphine and towards his potential bride. Indeed, Morose has heard of a woman named Epicne, reputed for her quiet demeanor, and enlists the help of his silent barber, Cutbeard, to broker a meeting with her.

Truewit's Mischief

Truewit, amused by the notion of a silent barber and an even quieter woman, suddenly excuses himself, inspired by some undisclosed plan. Shortly after his exit, Sir Amorous La-Foole visits, extending an invitation to a feast hosted by his relative, Mistress Otter. The guest list includes the elusive Mistress Epicne, Lady Haughty, Lady Centaur, Mistress Mavis, and Sir John Daw, providing ample fodder for Dauphine and Clerimont's amusement.

Meanwhile, Morose instructs his servant Mute to communicate solely through signs, except for dire situations requiring the use of a speaking tube. This is interrupted by Truewit’s arrival, triumphantly wielding a post horn and a halter, overwhelming Morose and Mute with a torrent of words. Truewit, hinting at alternative routes to self-destruction, hands Morose the halter, suggesting it as a preferable option to marriage. He departs, leaving Morose bedridden and in distress from the auditory assault.

A Marriage Plot Unraveling

Among the company of Mistress Epicne, Sir Dauphine and Clerimont persuade Sir John Daw to display his muddled intellect and exaggerated tales of romantic conquests. Truewit returns, horn in hand, recounting his earlier ruse, which he believes will derail Morose’s marriage plans. To Truewit’s dismay, Sir Dauphine reveals that he orchestrated the marriage as part of his own scheme, with Cutbeard and Mistress Epicne as his accomplices.

Cutbeard arrives with news that Morose, now convinced of Truewit's intent to sabotage, plans to proceed with the wedding immediately. Cutbeard escorts Mistress Epicne away, while Sir John Daw is left despondent, abandoned by his supposed sweetheart.

The Wedding That Wasn't

Morose greets Cutbeard and Mistress Epicne, enchanted by her soft-spoken nature. Cutbeard, communicating only in gestures, is tasked with finding a minister who can conduct the ceremony with minimal noise. Morose, delighted by the prospect of a quiet household, looks forward to disinheriting his nephew in favor of future offspring.

In reaction to Truewit’s prank, Sir Dauphine and his friends propose to crash Morose's wedding with Sir Amorous’ party, bringing along a cacophony of celebratory sounds. At the Otters' gathering, the young men incite a feud between Sir Amorous and Sir John Daw, exacerbating tensions by suggesting each is involved in taking something dear from the other.

The Clamorous Climax

The wedding officiation is barely audible due to the parson's cold, though Morose generously rewards him until aggravated by the parson’s persistent coughing. Cutbeard...