Does being a hero in "Ender's Game" mean not having the same feelings as others?

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I do not think that is what this means. Consider Ender, if you will. He was a third because his brother Peter had the toughness, but no empathy. His sister had the empathy, but she was too weak. Ender would not have been a viable option (nor would the others) if they did not have these kinds of emotions. The empathy for their families and their countries is in part what motivates them. Like heroes, however, these children had to subvert their own personal desires for the greater good. So yes, heroes should have the same emotions as others, but they must be willing to set their personal desires aside. That's what makes them heroes.

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