In the touching poem "The Necessity for Irony" by Eavan Boland, the narrator is a mother with a twelve-year-old daughter. She describes taking her daughter on Sunday excursions to junk sales and antique fairs so that she (the mother) can browse for various items that might be valuable. Her daughter, obviously less interested, would stand and wait for her "at the other end of the room." The mother confesses that she would not turn around often to see that her daughter was still standing there.
The narrator then relates that at one point she turns around, only to find that her daughter is no longer there. She is gone. However, she has not got lost or run away. Instead, she has grown and is no longer with her mother. The central theme of the poem is neglected relationships, in this case the relationship of the mother and her daughter. We could also identify the theme as misplaced priorities. The mother is searching for material objects instead of valuing and spending time with her daughter.
The great irony of the title, which Boland refers to as painful, is that during all the time that she spent searching "for beautiful things," the most beautiful and valuable thing in her life, her daughter, was standing right behind her. The mother neglects the daughter, consciously unaware of her great value, until it is too late and she is gone.
What is the central theme of “The Necessity for Irony” by Eavan Boland?
Although it might seem that the central theme is about the need to focus on darker feelings, like irony, rather than on sentimental affection, the poem's real theme is the necessity—or maybe the urgency—of enjoying what you have while you can. The speaker reminisces about going to antique fairs with his daughter when she was 12 and rarely turning around to look at her. But then, when his daughter is too old to want to come with him, he can't believe that he ignored her just to look at "beautiful things." The irony in the poem's title is about how beautiful his daughter was, how beautiful it was just to be with her, and how he feels like he wasted the moments when he wasn't looking at her by looking at other supposedly "beautiful things" instead of her.
Another theme of the poem is how the past affects the present—he might not be as sad that his daughter is now too old to spend as much time with him if it weren't for his memories of what they used to do together. His happy past now seems painful, as though it is reproaching him for not appreciating the time that he had with his daughter then.
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