"Eastward Ho!" unfolds as a tale of contrasting characters and consequences. The story centers around Touchstone, a goldsmith, and his two daughters, Gertrude and Mildred, alongside two apprentices, Quicksilver and Golding. Through a series of dramatic events, the characters navigate ambitions, betrayals, and ultimately, redemption.

A Household of Contrasts

Touchstone's household is a study in contrasts. Gertrude, his elder daughter, is a frivolous social climber whose aspirations are as extravagant as her fashion, while her sister Mildred embodies modesty and gentleness. Among the apprentices, Quicksilver stands out for his reckless and carefree nature, as opposed to Golding, whose steadiness and dedication earn him his master's favor. An attempt by Quicksilver to abandon his duties leads to a confrontation with Touchstone, who delivers a stern lecture on morality, highlighting Golding's exemplary conduct. The interruption of this lecture by a messenger from Sir Petronel Flash, who intends to marry Gertrude, sets in motion a series of events that will test the household's values.

Matrimonial Arrangements

As Gertrude prepares for her new life with Sir Petronel, Mildred aides in dressing her sister for the occasion, despite Gertrude's disdainful attitude towards her family. Touchstone seals the marriage arrangements with Sir Petronel, cautioning him and Gertrude that the dowry is all they should expect. Ignoring her father's advice, Gertrude departs with the knight, with her mother in attendance, leaving Touchstone to suggest a union between the deserving Mildred and Golding. This proposal marks a contrast between the hasty, opportunistic marriage of Gertrude and the well-considered match for Mildred.

Deception and Schemes

Quicksilver returns drunk from the wedding feast, quoting plays and provoking Touchstone's ire to the point where he is dismissed from his apprenticeship. With his newfound freedom, Quicksilver teams up with his mistress Sindefy and an old usurer named Security to concoct a scheme to exploit Sir Petronel and seize Gertrude’s property. They plan for Sir Petronel to borrow money against her estate for a supposed voyage to Virginia, while Gertrude remains blissfully unaware of the deceit being woven around her.

Unveiling of Falsehoods

Sir Petronel reveals to Quicksilver his lack of a real castle, intending to send Gertrude on a futile journey, clearing the path for his true desire: absconding with Security’s wife, Winifred, on the ill-fated voyage. Security, unknowingly complicit, places Sindefy with Gertrude as a maid and brings Sir Petronel home to finalize their plans. Meanwhile, preparations for Gertrude's illusory ride to the nonexistent estate are made, during which she continues to scorn her family. Sir Petronel’s manipulation deepens as he convinces Gertrude to sign over her assets under the guise of securing new furnishings for their phantom home.

The Voyage and Its Aftermath

Against warnings of an impending storm, Sir Petronel, Winifred disguised, Quicksilver, and their companions set sail, oblivious to the brewing disaster. In the chaos, Security discovers his wife's disappearance and follows in pursuit. A butcher, Slitgut, witnesses the tumult from afar, noting the irony as Security washes ashore at Cuckold’s Haven. The storm's violence ensnares more victims, including Winifred, who is saved by a heroic boy, and Quicksilver, who curses his misfortune upon reaching land. As the ship is lost and Sir Petronel's plans unravel, Winifred, now outwardly contrite, pacifies Security with stories of concern for his well-being, while Slitgut muses on the nature of marriage.

Redemption and Reconciliation

Back in London, Touchstone is livid over the knight's betrayal and his family’s gullibility, ultimately casting Gertrude and Sindefy out. Golding’s promotion to an alderman’s deputy underscores the rewards of integrity as he reports Sir Petronel and Quicksilver's arrest, with the ship seized. Mistress Touchstone reflects on her...