The novel delves into the conventional roles of men and women during the Victorian era. Women were expected to be gentle, ladylike, and, most importantly, obedient to men. In one of her letters, Lucy comments, "My dear Mina, why are men so noble when we women are so little worthy of them?" Lucy feels overwhelmed by the need to choose among her three suitors, fearing she might hurt one by declining his proposal. She laments, "Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say it." Additionally, women were expected to devote their lives to their husbands. This is shown by Mina practicing her shorthand while Jonathan is away, so she can assist him when he returns. Mina states, "When we are married I shall be able to be useful to Jonathan."

Even more important than a woman's loyalty to her husband was the belief that women, especially gentlewomen, should remain pure. As part of this belief, men were expected to respect a woman's privacy and refrain from intruding when she might be in a state of undress. Quincey highlights this when Professor Van Helsing suggests they break down the door to Mina's room. Quincey remarks, "It is unusual to break into a lady's room!" However, Van Helsing argues that this rule can be set aside when the woman is in serious danger. Fearing that Dracula might be attacking Mina, Van Helsing responds to Quincey, "You are always right; but this is life and death."

The idea of men as protectors of women, a recurring theme in the novel, reflects another aspect of Victorian life. In the face of danger, particularly physical threats, women were expected to act like damsels in distress. Mina embodies this role after being bitten, seeking comfort from Jonathan. She comments on Jonathan's hand, "it was life to me to feel its touch—so strong, so self-reliant, so resolute."