James Purdy, celebrated as one of the most adept modern American fiction writers, delves deeply into the perplexities of human connections. Through his distinctive use of the grotesque and sometimes gothic—yet always believable—elements, Purdy explores the intricate ties between individuals, frequently focusing on familial settings. In his work “Don’t Call Me by My Right Name,” he intricately portrays the strained relationship between Lois, a dissatisfied middle-aged woman, and her husband, Frank. This story poignantly highlights an enduring human conflict: the pervasive communication gap that persists even among those who share intimate bonds.

Central to this narrative is Lois’s resistance to being addressed by her husband’s surname, a refusal that Frank cannot fathom. This dissonance is rooted in Lois's longing for the independence and recognition she once enjoyed before her marriage. As a professional woman, she possessed a distinct identity, both personally and publicly, that was separate from her marital status. However, the union with Frank has stripped her of these defining aspects of her life, reducing her to merely a component of his world.

Lois’s struggle is emblematic of a broader issue—the loss of self that can accompany marriage, particularly when societal expectations are imposed on women. The specter of traditional marital roles, including the anticipation of motherhood, adds layers of complexity to her emotional turmoil. Her story, while deeply personal, resonates with the universal quest for identity within the confines of close relationships.

Within the intricate tapestry of human relationships, the theme of communication, or rather the lack thereof, emerges as a potent force that can instigate discord and misunderstanding. This narrative vividly captures how unspoken words and unaddressed emotions can fester beneath the surface, leading to animosity that quietly simmers, only to erupt unexpectedly. The story unfolds among a group of male strangers, a setting that intensifies the irony of the situation. Here, a marital conflict is laid bare, transforming an intimate dispute into a spectacle for an unintended audience. The wife's struggle with her identity—a reluctance to fully embrace her role as a wife—underscores the complexity of her inner turmoil. This reluctance is further highlighted by the presence of the men, who observe the unfolding drama with detachment, as if they are spectators at a theatrical performance. This juxtaposition of public and private realms underscores the poignant irony of the situation, where personal lives are inadvertently put on display, revealing the profound impact of communication breakdowns in relationships.

The narrative explores the nuanced and often conflicting perceptions of aging through the characters of Lois and Frank. Lois openly admits to feeling constrained by society's expectations, particularly around her appearance and identity. Her candid acknowledgment of being "too old and too fat" to be deemed "Mrs. Klein" highlights the societal pressures women face as they age. In stark contrast, Frank, her husband, clings to traditional roles, refusing to confront or accept Lois's evolving identity. This tension encapsulates the broader societal struggle with rigid gender norms and age-related stereotypes.

Frank embodies the conventional mindset that struggles to reconcile with the realities of aging, particularly when it concerns his spouse. His inability to empathize with Lois’s plight underscores the societal expectations dictating husband and wife roles. This dynamic is poignantly illustrated during a climactic moment when Lois, injured and intoxicated after an altercation, defies her husband’s authority. Her bold declaration, calling him a "son of a bitch," followed by the act of striking him with her pocketbook, signifies a moment of empowerment and self-assertion.

The story leaves the reader contemplating the couple's future, as Lois’s actions suggest a shift in power dynamics. This ending challenges the audience to reflect on the complexities of aging, the resilience required to defy societal expectations, and the potential for transformation within personal relationships.