The Distance Between Us

by Reyna Grande

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Student Question

Does Reyna in The Distance Between Us ever get truly seen by her father? What can one do if parental support is lacking?

Quick answer:

Reyna did not ever get her wish to be truly seen by her father in The Distance Between Us. Throughout her childhood, her father treated her as little more than an inconvenience. Then, he would not allow her to pursue a higher education, because she was a woman. When someone does not receive support from their parents, the best thing for them to do is approach a counselor if possible and rely on their friends for validation.

Expert Answers

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Unfortunately, Reyna does not ever get her wish to truly be seen by her father. I would argue that the closest he came to "seeing" her was when he returned to Mexico intending to take just his son back to the US but ended up taking all three children.

In Reyna's childhood, after her parents have left for the US and left the children in the care of their paternal grandmother, they endure all sorts of physical and emotional afflictions—from scorpion bites and lice infestations to constant taunts from kids in the neighborhood about them being "orphans." Both Reyna's father and her mother failed to see their children's need to be protected from their grandmother.

It was not going to be a happy family life in America for the Grande family. Reyna had to single-handedly deal not only with the constant stress of being an undocumented migrant, but also the angst caused by her father's constant drinking, anger, and the abuse that she suffers at his hands. His new wife makes no effort to encourage her husband to truly see his children.

The final piece of proof that Reyna's father has never truly seen her is that he fails to see or respect her desire to further her education after high school. While her brothers are allowed to attend college, Reyna (being a woman) was not.

It is a heartbreaking fact that many children in our world do not not receive support from their parents. In situations like this, the best thing a child can do is approach a school counselor and surround themselves with friends who care.

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