Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron delves into the profound struggles of depression through the author's personal experiences. From his initial realization in Paris to his eventual recovery, Styron's journey highlights the complexities and enigmas of mental illness. Through reflections on literary figures and personal trials, he paints a vivid picture of the despair and eventual hope associated with depression.

Paris, 1985: The Onset of Darkness

In the opening chapter, Styron sets the stage in October 1985, when he first acknowledged his descent into depression while in Paris. He was there to receive the Prix Mondial Cino del Duca, a prize for contributions to humanism, which marked a significant moment juxtaposed with his internal turmoil. Returning to Paris after thirty-three years, he employs flashbacks to reveal the unsettling changes within himself since he first visited in 1952. Through his peculiar actions during that trip, Styron starkly illustrates the disarray that depression inflicts upon the mind. He grapples with the elusive nature of the disease, expressing the difficulty in defining it comprehensively.

Influences of Existentialism

Styron reminisces about his connections with prominent existentialist figures like Albert Camus and Romain Gary in this chapter. Camus, whose existential philosophy left a significant imprint on Styron's work, tragically died in 1960 before they could meet. Styron reflects on Romain Gary, a close friend who succumbed to suicide in 1980, exploring the profound link between depression and suicide. Through these reflections, he draws poignant parallels with his own mental struggles.

Artistic Minds and Vulnerability

Continuing his exploration of suicide and depression, Styron observes that artists seem particularly susceptible to these afflictions. He examines the mysterious deaths of individuals like Abbie Hoffman, Primo Levi, and Randall Jarrell, suggesting that their ends were suicides triggered by their internal battles with depression. By recounting their stories, Styron seeks to shed light on the impact of depression on creative minds.

Redefining Depression

Styron critiques the term "depression" in this chapter, proposing "brainstorm" as a more apt description of the mental chaos experienced. He contemplates potential triggers for his condition, such as approaching his sixtieth birthday and abstaining from alcohol. His dependency on Halcion, a potent sleep aid, exacerbated his condition, leading to dangerous dosages. Styron details the chemical upheaval depression causes in the brain, likening the symptoms to madness. By December 1985, he reached a breaking point, marked by severe symptoms and a decision to seek hospitalization.

Challenges of Therapy

This chapter introduces Dr. Gold, Styron's psychiatrist, who, despite his Yale training, seemed ineffective. Gold's approach primarily involved medication, failing to instill hope in Styron. Consumed by a profound sense of loss, Styron struggled to maintain hope amidst his deepening depression.

The Descent into Darkness

Styron's condition continues to deteriorate, robbing him of his ability to drive or function normally, as he becomes a shadow of his former self. The medication Nardil, an older antidepressant, is prescribed but offers little respite. He describes feeling as though a "second self" shadows him, preparing for death by rewriting his will and crafting a farewell letter. The chapter is steeped in a pervasive sense of nostalgia and looming mortality, culminating in the destruction of his diary on the night before his hospitalization.

Irony at the Hospital

Styron highlights the irony of Dr. Gold's role in admitting him to the hospital, despite previously advising against it. This contradiction further illustrates Gold's inefficacy in Styron's eyes, underscoring the complexity and unpredictability of mental health treatment.

Path to Recovery

During his seven-week hospital stay, Styron's suicidal thoughts dissipate after discontinuing Halcion. The structured environment and group therapy sessions, though infantilizing, begin...