Ebenezer Mac Crotchet
Ebenezer Mac Crotchet, the elderly squire of Crochet Castle, whose ability to make money and translate it into a fake family background is his chief attribute. He fancies himself to be a guardian of ideas and holds long sessions with pseudo-intellectuals discussing science and philosophy.
Young Crotchet, Ebenezer’s son, who inherits his father’s talent for making money. Young Crotchet’s business ethics, however, are shady, and his personal relationships are founded primarily on monetary considerations. When he loses his money, he goes to America to join a banker who, having absconded with a bank’s funds, has set up business across the Atlantic.
Susannah Touchandgo, the girl whom Young Crotchet abandoned when her father took the bank’s money and went to America, leaving her penniless. She keeps body and soul together by teaching a farmer’s children, but finally she marries a gentleman of some means.
Lady Clarinda Bossnowl
Lady Clarinda Bossnowl, a girl betrothed to Young Crotchet because she has a title. When Crotchet goes bankrupt and leaves the country, she is happy to marry a young army officer who has a small but stable fortune.
Mr. Chainmail, an antiquarian who yearns for the olden days of iron clothing. When he discovers that Susannah Touchandgo was gently reared, he happily marries her.
Captain Fitzchrome, a young man who pines for Lady Bossnowl and who finally has the good fortune to win her.
Lemma Crotchet, Ebenezer’s daughter, who marries Lady Bossnowl’s brother.