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In The Catcher in the Rye, how does Holden describe his mother and their relationship?
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In The Catcher in the Rye, Holden does not have a very good relationship with his mother. Mrs. Caulfield is so grief-stricken over Allie's death that she does not pay much attention to Holden and is emotionally distant. Holden describes his mother as having a nervous condition that causes her to have terrible headaches, anxiety, and trouble sleeping. He feels guilty at the thought that he is a burden to her.
Holden is emotionally distant from his mother. The loss of her younger son has locked Mrs. Caulfield in a state of nervous exhaustion that is characterized by constant headaches and anxiety which causes her to lose sleep and chain smoke.
Holden knows that his mother has not gotten over the death of her youngest son, so she is still grieving, which leads the reader to understand that she is sad.
In Chapter 7, Holden describes how his mother will react when she finds out that he has been kicked out of another school. He wants to arrive home after his parents have received the letter from Pencey Prep indicating that Holden has been expelled.
"I didn't want to go home or anything till they got it and thoroughly digested it and all. I didn't want to be around when they first got it. My mother gets very hysterical. She's...
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not too bad after she gets something thoroughly digested, though." (Salinger)
In Chapter 21, when Holden sneaks into his apartment, he talks about his mother again. Holden tells the reader that his mother is a light sleeper, she can hear a pin drop a mile away.
"You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't take up, but my mother, all you have to do to my mother is cough somewhere in Siberia and she'll hear you. She's nervous as hell. Half the time she's up all night smoking cigarettes. (Salinger)
Holden doesn't have a very good relationship with either of his parents. He can't confide in them. He has not opened up to anyone about his grief over his brother. He sneaks into his apartment and listens to his mother scold Phoebe, while he hides in the closet, he can't even confront her, he doesn't trust her.
Holden believes that his mother is in a fragile state, suffering from a nervous condition with constant headaches is how he describes her in Chapter 23. Holden's mother is so grief stricken over the death of her son, Allie, that Holden feels really guilty about being such a burden to her, that is why he doesn't go home right away and that is why he chooses to hide while in NYC rather than go home, even after he has no where else to stay.
The only person in the book that Holden has a genuine relationship with that is based on trust and real love is his little sister Phoebe.
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What does Holden say about his parents in The Catcher in the Rye?
Holden intersperses enough comments about his parents throughout his text that he creates an image of them, though we never meet them directly. We know, for example, that they are wealthy people. Holden mentions that his father is an investment attorney and that he "hauls" in quite a bit of money.
His parents also seem to live a very typical upper-class life. They have servants and a house in the country as well as their fashionable New York apartment. They send Holden to expensive boarding schools, and his father hopes for him to go to Yale or Princeton, although that is not what Holden wants. They seem to have a lot of friends, and they go out frequently to parties and dinner and also to golf.
They are private people. Holden states:
my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all—I'm not saying that—but they're also touchy as hell.
The parents are also very much upset over Allie's death. One of the reasons Holden doesn't want to kill himself is that he knows how much it would upset his parents, especially after losing one son. He also says of his parents:
When the weather's nice, my parents go out quite frequently and stick a bunch of flowers on old Allie's grave.
Holden's mother seems to be an introvert and somewhat high-strung: she socializes quite frequently, but Holden says she doesn't like it much and often gets headaches from it. She has good taste in clothes, at least for Phoebe, and she is not afraid to confront her neighbors when she has a problem.
Both parents, if troubled by Holden's behavior, seem caring toward their children. Holden's mother, for example, comes into Phoebe's room when she sees the light on after coming in from an outing. She is concerned that Phoebe is not asleep and asks about her trip to the movies. The parents also keep trying to find a boarding school for Holden that will work, rather than giving up on him.
All in all, Holden wants to please his parents despite their currently strained relationship. He avoids seeing them in New York because he is ashamed that he has failed at another boarding school. His parents care about their children and have been shaken by Allie's death.
It's fair to say that Holden has a less than ideal relationship with his parents, especially his mother. He describes Mrs. Caulfield in detailed terms as a very nervous, anxious woman. Permanently grief-stricken and beset by insomnia, she's finding it hard to get over Allie's death.
Although Holden doesn't get on very well with his mother, he nonetheless expresses guilt over adding to her worries by constantly getting kicked out of one school after another. He describes her initial reaction in such cases as hysterical but claims that she isn't so bad when she finally digests the bad news. Clearly, she's still preoccupied with the memory of her dead son.
As for Mr. Caulfield, Holden describes him with a degree of objectivity that indicates their emotional distance from one another. He tells us about how rich his old man is and what he does for a living. Holden vividly compares his dad's sleeping habits with those of Mrs. Caulfield:
You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't wake up, but my mother, all you have to do to my mother is cough somewhere in Siberia and she'll hear you. She's nervous as hell. Half the time she's up all night smoking cigarettes.
The implication here is that the death of Allie hasn't quite impacted Mr. Caulfield in the same way as his wife. The fact that he can sleep soundly at night speaks volumes.